I HAVE A DREAM!
Hello fellow NS posters. My name is Bruce Lee and I am running for Moderator of the Ninjashoes website. I thought I'd take a moment to seperate myself from the other worthy candidates with a list of campaign promises. If these eloquent reasons do not move you, know that I will beg, barter or pay for your vote...
1- I promise to never ban anybody (unless I perceive their behavior to be ban worthy- examples to follow.).
2- I promise to never move your threads to the Anus (unless I perceive that the thread is anus worthy).
3- I promise to legalize Marijuana for all forum users ASAP!!!!
4- I promise to ban all forum users who don't smoke out of a glass bong, or vaporizer (see campaign promise #1).
5- I promise to shut down the borders- we don't need no illegal squaters from rival forums fucking up our flow or leaching off our Highlight section. 10 hitter quiters get the boot (see campaign promise #1).
6- I promise to be flexible with my closed border rule - exempting harmless, hungry vagabond posters who are just looking for a home.
7- I promise to support the "surge" strategy in our wars with rival forums (FHQ, Sherdog, ect...). We go hard, or we go home...
8- As much as I dislike Tranny's, Shane and the ADR, my administration believes these to be NS precedents and we would not affect any changes in these areas.
9- I promise to give BTJ the Medal of Freedom for all of the fine, young women he has posted througout the year. ***edit Hotnewton will also get the Medal of Freedom for his unequaled contributions in the Womens Forum. He is also my Public Relations Campaign Director and on the short list of people to be Secretary of State when I am moded.
10- I promise to be just as sarcastic, cynical and vitrollic as I have ever been. I WON'T LET THE POWER GO TO MY HEAD AND CHANGE ME!
Now if you'll excuse me I have some more campaigning to do. I will buy "BRUCE LEE FOR MOD!!!" usertitles for all 3,452 users.