Bruce Lee's Campaign Promises

**Bruce Lee** · 05-14-2007 04:55 PM

I HAVE A DREAM!

Hello fellow NS posters. My name is Bruce Lee and I am running for Moderator of the Ninjashoes website. I thought I'd take a moment to seperate myself from the other worthy candidates with a list of campaign promises. If these eloquent reasons do not move you, know that I will beg, barter or pay for your vote...

1- I promise to never ban anybody (unless I perceive their behavior to be ban worthy- examples to follow.).

2- I promise to never move your threads to the Anus (unless I perceive that the thread is anus worthy).

3- I promise to legalize Marijuana for all forum users ASAP!!!!

4- I promise to ban all forum users who don't smoke out of a glass bong, or vaporizer (see campaign promise #1).

5- I promise to shut down the borders- we don't need no illegal squaters from rival forums fucking up our flow or leaching off our Highlight section. 10 hitter quiters get the boot (see campaign promise #1).

6- I promise to be flexible with my closed border rule - exempting harmless, hungry vagabond posters who are just looking for a home.

7- I promise to support the "surge" strategy in our wars with rival forums (FHQ, Sherdog, ect...). We go hard, or we go home...

8- As much as I dislike Tranny's, Shane and the ADR, my administration believes these to be NS precedents and we would not affect any changes in these areas.

9- I promise to give BTJ the Medal of Freedom for all of the fine, young women he has posted througout the year. ***edit Hotnewton will also get the Medal of Freedom for his unequaled contributions in the Womens Forum. He is also my Public Relations Campaign Director and on the short list of people to be Secretary of State when I am moded.

10- I promise to be just as sarcastic, cynical and vitrollic as I have ever been. I WON'T LET THE POWER GO TO MY HEAD AND CHANGE ME!

Now if you'll excuse me I have some more campaigning to do. I will buy "BRUCE LEE FOR MOD!!!" usertitles for all 3,452 users.

**kermitthefrayer** · 05-14-2007 05:05 PM

You got my vote.

**Brad O** · 05-14-2007 05:43 PM

I would spend more time kissing Ninja and VMA's asses if I were you bro!

**Aiden** · 05-14-2007 06:02 PM

Bruce is really going for it isnt he.

**Rory** · 05-14-2007 06:05 PM

Bruce lee for mod!!!! The campaign promises sold me on your worthyness.

**Brad O** · 05-14-2007 06:06 PM

Did you guys vote for Gore too?? :D

**Aiden** · 05-14-2007 06:11 PM

Axeman is still my first pick but i think Bruce is second

**cam** · 05-14-2007 06:16 PM

i vote for Bruce Lee

1. cause i like him and his promises

2. i have no other reasons that have any degree of validity

**cam** · 05-14-2007 06:17 PM

i vote for axeman too

cause Aiden made me aware he was running

fuck, i leave for a few days and i'm totally lost

**Bruce Lee** · 05-14-2007 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by Brad Olson

I would spend more time kissing Ninja and VMA's asses if I were you bro!

Lost cause... Ninja neg reps me routinely as is. I don't think VMA knows who I am.

I'M ALL ABOUT TEH GRASS ROOTS BROTHER!!! I'M HERE TO TALK TO THE PEOPLE!!!

**Bruce Lee** · 05-14-2007 06:18 PM

Originally Posted by Brad Olson

Did you guys vote for Gore too?? :D

Nader, actually. I'm quasi-socialist.

**Bruce Lee** · 05-14-2007 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by Aiden

Axeman is still my first pick but i think Bruce is second

Axeman is the only other candidate I believe is worthy. However the fact that I INTRODUCED HIM to Ninjashoes should give me the leg up. Our poor brother Axe was an aimless Sherdog wanderer before I brought him here.

**Aiden** · 05-14-2007 06:28 PM

You know what? I am usually annoyed when people try to nominate themselves for mod and hype themselves up but for some reason Bruce's campaigning doesn't come across as a pathetic attempt to be accepted I guess it's since we already know he doesnt care what anyone thinks.

**Bruce Lee** · 05-14-2007 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by Aiden

You know what? I am usually annoyed when people try to nominate themselves for mod and hype themselves up but for some reason Bruce's campaigning doesn't come across as a pathetic attempt to be accepted I guess it's since we already know he doesnt care what anyone thinks.

+1 -self-promotion is sad. I'm more having fun with it than anything else ("I promise to legalize marijuana"

)

In any case... I was actually nominated by Teh Fire and Incog in the "Who Wants To Be A Mod" thread. I decided to heed the word of the people and fight for a better tommorrow.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!