straight fucked up. I'm aware that some parts might be confusing or seem out of place but just ask and I'll clarify
I had arranged something with the local zoo that enabled me to take care of an adolescent female tiger for a few hours in the comfort of my own home. How this arrangement began, I do not know. All I remember is a truck with the zoo’s logo on it pulling up outside my house and they brought in the tiger. She was about the size of both my dogs put together and she was an absolute sweetheart. When she got bored with play she insisted on sleeping on your lap like a housecat. Even my brother came by to see her and he was also taken with her personality. Everyone, including my grandmother wanted her to stay because she was just so sweet. When the time finally came for the zoo to come and pick her up they didn’t show. We didn’t really mind but then we did because we didn’t really know how to take care of a tiger. I tried calling the zoo several times but there wasn’t any answer. We decided to keep her in the basement for the night and after I led her down there I found a surprise, a full grown male lion. He wasn’t so sweet. It seemed the zoo had dumped two large cats on me but I still wasn’t complaining, even though the lion seemed pretty testy, he wasn’t being aggressive. I brought the tiger back upstairs and she made herself at home on the couch. I started poking around in the fridge looking for something for the cats to eat but couldn’t find anything. I was interrupted by the phone, I was being called back to job corps, I had to be there by 9 am the next morning. I packed my bags and went to bed, worrying about what would happen to the cats. The next morning I woke up and the zoo truck was outside again. They were taking the cats back but it was for the best. I had to go back to job corps anyways. After I got there I went through all the normal paperwork and medical history and stuff then I headed for the dorms. I was carrying my new book… one by Donald Trump. I don’t remember the title but it was really good so far. A girl stopped me on my way in and said she knew him, I laughed it off and went inside. After filling out more paperwork we were shown to our rooms, my new room mate was the girl that supposedly knew Donald trump… great. I spent the next few days getting used to life at job corps, again. Everything was going smoothly. A few days later Donald trump showed up and I asked him to autograph my book, he did so and I was so distracted I didn’t even look at it until I was back in my room. He had written on it that I would die. I thought it was some kind of sick joke until after dinner. I had gone to dinner like everyone else and when I got back to the room my room mate had a gun. She was shooting it everywhere and a bullet ricocheted and hit me in the back of the head. I knew all coherent thought stopped right at that moment. I knew I needed help but I didn’t know how to go about getting it. I thought of Joe, but couldn’t think of how to get a hold of him. I knew he’d help but I just couldn’t figure out how to get to him. I felt blood dripping from my mouth uncontrollably and I knew I was a mess. I tried to talk but couldn’t get words out. My room mate shuffled me into the tub and I could feel the blood clotting in my mouth and dripping out. My room mate got me into the tub and filled it. I sat there in the water just staring into it. I saw the blood clots floating around me in the water, clumped together but still liquid. It reminded me of eggs, the yoke, gooey and slimy in the white. Only instead of egg whites and the yokes I was looking at water with several large blood clots. I sat in the tub for what felt like hours and when I got out I was back in Tim’s apartment, my room mate was nowhere, in fact, I was alone. I saw the phone and knew it could be used to get help but I didn’t know what numbers to dial, or even how to dial. I heard someone yelling outside and went to a window to look out. I kept trying to figure out how to open the shade and couldn’t do it, it was too hard to concentrate. Alice cooper was playing on the computer and it was too loud. I went to turn it down only to find that I’d gone to the TV instead. I finally got to the computer and I couldn’t remember how to stop the music. I moved the speaker and heard the yelling outside again, I went back to the window and remembered I couldn’t see out of it and noticed I hadn’t even been able to turn the music down. I went back to the TV, then back to the computer and started hitting every button I saw. I finally made the music stop and I could hear a man yelling outside. I went back to the window but I still couldn’t open the shade but I could hear then man yelling about someone breaking in, a man tried coming into his house… I saw green flashes through the shade and I knew someone was here, someone that could help me. But who was it? Why did I need help? I tried to make a sound by moving my mouth and then I felt it, the clotted blood, breaking up and dripping out again. I was hurt, bad. But where? My mouth? Did I bite my tongue? Someone was outside… who was outside? Where is he? Joe was supposed to be here… no, not Joe, Joe had never been here… where was he? He was always here, but not now. He would tell me what happened… who was he? the green flashes, what are they? The shade, I have to move the shade. How do I move the shade? What’s in my mouth? Why isn’t he here? He was always here, I can’t be left alone… why can’t I be alone? What are those green flashes? Is that color green? What is a color? Sean. Was his name Sean? Is Sean the one called he? Was Sean ever here? Yes, but only once inside. This isn’t my home, why am I here? Why had I brought Sean here? His name was Sean? Where is he? Why am I alone? I can’t be left alone, I’d do something… what was it? What did I do? Who wont leave me alone? He said I can’t be trusted, why can’t I be trusted? Sean. The train. Providence to Boston, south station, Boston to somewhere, where is somewhere? Where is he? He said I can’t be alone. Why can’t I be alone? Why am I alone? Who keeps yelling? Are they yelling at me? Did I do something wrong? Uniforms, what’s a uniform? Badges… I had a badge, where is it? I’ll get kicked out if I don’t show it. Kicked out of where? Where is my badge? They wont believe I work here. I work here? No I didn’t, I lived here, but not anymore. I need my badge, they wont believe me if I don’t have it. They won’t trust my word. They’ll think I lied. I lied. I cant be trusted. Sean. I lied to Sean? No, I lied to him. Who is him? him is he. Who is he? I cant be alone. Why did he leave me alone? The green flashes, uniforms… badges. Where is my badge? The music stopped, I turned it off, its over. If they find me without my badge I’ll be thrown out. They’ll think I’m a patron. Where is my badge? Uniforms… green flashes. No, that isn’t green. What color is it? Is color a word? Green, green…. Green? What’s outside? I’m inside? How do I get outside? Look out the window. Something’s blocking it, what is it? I have to do something with it… what do I do with it? My hand. I need to use my hand, how do I use my hand? What do I have to use my hand for? Green, no, not green. What is it? Color? What color? Yes, it is color. But what color? Is it green? My mouth, something is wrong. What’s wrong? My mouth, there’s something in it. What is it? It feels… it feels… dirt, its like dirt, small clumps of it in my mouth, gritty. I need to do something… what do I need to do? Dirt, in my mouth… how do I get rid of it? The window? My hand? Green? No, its not green, its something else… what is it? The yelling? I cant hear it anymore. Someone was yelling? The window, my hand… what do I do? Dirt, my mouth is full of dirt. How do I get rid of it? The window? Flashes… what color flashes? Is it color? Sean? No, trust. Trust and Sean? Alone. Uniforms. I cant be alone, I can’t be trusted. he always says that. Show. Show? Sean? Sean and show? Show and Sean? No, Sean is show. Show. he calls him show. Show is Sean. I can’t be trusted because of… because of what? The big show. Big show? TV? The big show on TV? I cant be trusted because of the show? Show… I cant be trusted because of show. Show is someone, who is show? he called him show. Show is… who is show? Light. The flashes. Light flashes. Flashing lights, that sit flashing lights. Green? No. Sean? Is that the color? Is color a word? No, Sean isn’t a color, Sean is show. The big show, I cant be trusted. Show. I cant be trusted because of Sean. I cant be alone because I cant be trusted. Where is he? The dirt… the window, the lights! Green? No, not green. Uniforms, badges. Badges? Who wears badges? I did. Where is my badge? I need my badge. Uniforms. Blue uniforms. BLUE! Not green, blue! Help. I need help. I need to go outside. The window, what do I do, my hand? What does my hand do? The window? Something…. I cant see outside. Something is there, before the window. I can’t see through it, what is it? My hand. No, my hand is on something, what is it? Not the window, something beside me… what is it? My hand is stuck to it. Why? I can’t take it off. Flashes, blue, lights, uniforms, help! Dirt? I’m hurt… my mouth? The window. Outside. I’m inside? How do I get outside? Is it called outside? Where is he? The uniforms. I need to go somewhere. Where? The uniforms can help. I need to….. The uniforms, I need to get to the uniforms. The uniforms can help. Not the uniforms, the people in the uniforms, who are they? Blue. Flashes, outside. I need to go, how do I go. I hear something. What is it? Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump. What is it? Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump. Its getting louder. My head, it hurts my head. What is it? Thump thump thump thump thump. Make it stop, I have to turn it off, how do I turn it off? The TV. The TV is blank. Its off right? Thump thump thump thump thump. The computer. Alice? Steven? STEVEN! I hear my name… my name is steven? Thump thump thump thump. It has to stop. Why wont it stop? Outside. Its outside, but inside. Outside the apartment but inside the building. Thump thump thump thump thump. Its louder, closer. Closer! Its coming closer! Uniforms. Its them. I have to do something. They cant get in, how do they get in? I have to do something… what? The window? My hand? They cant get in… thump thump thump thump thump. It stopped. They can’t get in. I have to do something. I need something. The uniforms. I need the uniforms. Why? Dirt. My mouth. What’s wrong with my mouth? The uniforms can help. I need help. Help! I need to do something, they’re close. The……… knob? Knob? My hand… knob… I need to do something…. The…… door…… knob. that’s it! The door. I need to open the door. They’re….. outside? Yes. Where is the door? What does it look like? Knob…. The knob… I need to…. Touch it? With my mouth? No, there’s something wrong with my mouth…. My hand. I need to use my hand because…. Because… my mouth, there’s something wrong with it. The uniforms. I needed to touch the knob. Where is the knob? The knob is on the door. The door is blue. Blue. Uniforms. The blue uniforms, outside the door. Help. The knob. I need to go to it. Touch it… hold it. There’s something else… what else? The door won’t open unless I do it. What? pull? That too. It won’t open… I need to…… my wrist? My hand is stuck on my wrist! that’s not it… I need to do something with my wrist… what does my wrist do? It moves… it moves my hand! My hand! I need to…. Move it? Yes… I need to hold the knob and move it? The doors moving. It worked! A blue uniform! But the lights are gone. He wont help. He’s not here to help. He doesn’t have a badge. Its not the same uniform. Break in… he says he needs to hide… he broke in…. the yelling… the blue lights… dirt, my mouth… I need help. He wont help. He’s looking for a place to hide. He wont help me at all.