searching for porn. From some weird Christian forum discussing porn, called "Crosswalk", here it is:

Now, let me ask you a question ... although there's no way of proving this, in your heart of hearts, do you think that Jesus masturbated? Deep down, we all know that there's no way! Why is that? From Jesus' own lips, "Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner" (John 5:19 NKJV). According to this passage, Jesus did what He saw His Father do. Therefore, in order for Jesus to have masturbated, He must have first witnessed His Father masturbate! So, did Jesus see God the Father masturbate? Do you see how this whole subject is blasphemous? God the Father does not masturbate and Jesus never did either!

Something else to add. I just found this great list of masturbation quotes:


"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." ~ Woody Allen, Annie Hall

"The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it" ~ Truman Capote

"If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't 'taper off'. You've got to quit, cold jerky!" ~ Lenny Bruce

"I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something." ~ Dave Attell

"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." - Woody Allen

"Intercourse with a woman is sometimes a satisfactory substitute for masturbation. But it takes a lot of imagination to make it work." ~ Karl Kraus

"Masturbation: Shaking hands with the unemployed." - George Carlin

"Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation" ~ Richard Feynman

"Masturbation is to sex as philosophy is to reality." ~ Karl Marx

"The only thing about masturbation to be ashamed of is doing it badly." ~ Sigmund Freud

"Sophisticated persons masturbate without compunction. They do it for reasons of health, privacy, thrift and because of the remarkable perfection of invisible partners." ~ P. J. O'Rourke

"We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." ~ Lily Tomlin

"If you're going to gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much." ~ Mark Twain

"Masturbation is just like procrastination, it's fun at first, but in the end you're just screwing yourself." ~ anonymous

"Marriage is like a game of bridge: if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand." --Internet proverb.

"Now put yourself in the shoes of a Muslim. It's Friday night, but you can't have sex, and you can't jack off. There's sand in your eyes and probably in the crack of your ass, and then some cartoon comes along from a country where people are getting laid, and mocks your prophet. Well you know what? I'd be pretty pissed off too!"-Mrs. Garrison from an episode of South Park

My mother caught me. ~ George Costanza from Seinfeld

Good Stufff. :yes:

*fart*

*fart*

get yo stank ass out of my enlightening thread

:gojerkit:

Jesus was flesh and blood like all of us and he wacked off 4 sure.
Mary was a hooker and he was bangin her as well ... its written of the special attention he payed to Mary,why,because she wacked up and sucked his cock...no doubts.

Jesus was flesh and blood like all of us and he wacked off 4 sure.
Mary was a hooker and he was bangin her as well ... its written of the special attention he payed to Mary,why,because she wacked up and sucked his cock...no doubts.

i don't think truer words have been spoken since Afroman's Because I Got High.

hahahahahahahahahahaha, this shits hilarous....

i don't think truer words have been spoken since Afroman's Because I Got High.



Who is this 'afroman' u speak of?

Who is this 'afroman' u speak of?

he is this fine fellow, jimmy.

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wtf we can't embed anymore

wtf we can't embed anymore


that sux.I checked him out though.
That song pwns.