Is there a way I can do it myself or do I gotta seek out some douchebag to do it?

Any help would be nice.

I think they sell those VHS and DVD players that let you record VHS content onto DVDs. I'm pretty sure I saw em on Target.

If not, then you have to buy a video capture card. Connect your VCR to your PC. Record the video/audio stream to your HD. Then burn on a DVD.

I was in a electrical shop today in the UK that had a gadget that did that very thing so yeah you should be able to get something that will do it.

The shop was Maplin if by some chance you are in the UK. But then you would be lying about ya location!!!

Not sure if this was it : Stuff (http://www.maplin.co.uk/Module.aspx?ModuleNo=97800&criteria=vhs%20to%20dvd&doy=31m8)