tell us stories about your best fuck ever, or jackoff if such is the case, or just any sex story we may pleasure ourselves to


and rememeber DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS

didn't this thread fail miserably last time?

didn't this thread fail miserably last time?

last time? FUCK!

o well, lets give it asecond chance

I put it in my x-girlfriends ass... it was overrated.

one time i jerked off in a forest, that was pretty cool

one time i jerked off in a forest, that was pretty cool

nice post

repped

had sex under the scorching sun on top of a big boulder situated on a tiny bend of the main trail, heard ppl approaching got our rocks off got dressed then left... ~fin

one time i jerked off in a forest, that was pretty cool

come to think of it, i'd like to fuck in s forest also but i think it might be shitty getting dirty while being on the ground and ive had difficuly finding a female willing to fuck in a forest floor

one of my best lay stories: having sex in the park while it was raining under a full moon at 2am ... great fucking times

one of my best lay stories: having sex in the park while it was raining under a full moon at 2am ... great fucking times

hawwwwwwttt

yeah, it made me hawt thinking about it jus now... i remember it was so good my thigh was trembling 2 hours later

WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

yeah, it made me hawt thinking about it jus now... i remember it was so good my thigh was trembling 2 hours later

WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

even hawwwwtterrrrr, you should write novels

come to think of it, i'd like to fuck in s forest also but i think it might be shitty getting dirty while being on the ground and ive had difficuly finding a female willing to fuck in a forest floor

Jerking off in the forrest is better especially when there is a tree with a lumpy and vuluptous bulbous trunk that you can pretend are tits.

yeah, it made me hawt thinking about it jus now... i remember it was so good my thigh was trembling 2 hours later

WHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

we should do it again, cami. im afraid im a shadow of my former self, but still better 17% of the male population.

Jerking off in the forrest is better especially when there is a tree with a lumpy and vuluptous bulbous trunk that you can pretend are tits.

i only wish bark was a better simulation of sweet flesh

sooooo uhhhh... cami, uhhh, wanna have sex in a forest?

i hear cami retired! from teh sex

even hawwwwtterrrrr, you should write novels

hahahah naw man i dont have a flair for writing besides, im really private about stuff like det... those are the only 2 you all are gonna get out of me...

i hear cami retired! from teh sex

what a waste, o well... sooo uhhh, deegs..... wanna replace cami?

sooooo uhhhh... cami, uhhh, wanna have sex in a forest?

i already done it

hahahah naw man i dont have a flair for writing besides, im really private about stuff like det... those are the only 2 you all are gonna get out of me...

borrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnng,


booooo! boooooo! u-s-a! u-s-a! u-s-a!

i already done it

tell us about it

what a waste, o well... sooo uhhh, deegs..... wanna replace cami?

only if you can guarantee that you have a vagina.

























*code for huge cock

i hear cami retired! from teh sex

dets to keep the stalkers & fiends at bay, but you aint heard it from me...

tell us about it

i aint heard a sex story from you yet... start typing negro

only if you can guarantee that you have a vagina





*code for huge cock

will medium do?

i aint heard a sex story from you yet... start typing negro

i jerked off in a forest, i beelive i already stated that, except for the part where i thought some middle aged woman was watching me

will medium do?

i'd like to say yes, but...

i'd like to say yes, but...

ill be your sugar daddy

love connection

on horny goat weed. that shit works.

Having sex with two girls in one night. Um, one girl shows up around 12, then leaves at 2. Then as she's leaving I get a text and it's another girl saying "can I come over for coffee?" and you know what that means. Yep. This was like a week ago. Merry christmas to moi.

i jacked off for 8 hours once. Not 2 or 3 jerks, i'm talking 1 jack ... had to repaint the ceiling afterwards! Good Times!

I fuckeded an 18 year old chick last year and she was pretty damn hawt. I was 42 at the time and i had the drugs. hahaha

i jacked off for 8 hours once. Not 2 or 3 jerks, i'm talking 1 jack ... had to repaint the ceiling afterwards! Good Times!

tantric self love?

Having sex with two girls in one night. Um, one girl shows up around 12, then leaves at 2. Then as she's leaving I get a text and it's another girl saying "can I come over for coffee?" and you know what that means. Yep. This was like a week ago. Merry christmas to moi.

pimp, ereone wants a piece

tantric self love?

right on man ... like i would know what tantric means.

Having sex with two girls in one night. Um, one girl shows up around 12, then leaves at 2. Then as she's leaving I get a text and it's another girl saying "can I come over for coffee?" and you know what that means. Yep. This was like a week ago. Merry christmas to moi.

War Soul! I did that in a dream once ... ok 1000 times.

I think me and cami should hook up. I'm not fucking in the woods tho, been there done that, but we could play in the rain after?

I jerked off in the woods before also, I couldnt stand it so I pulled my car over and lept into the forrest.

I came on my own face one time cause i'm a slut.

hahahahaha

I got the ceiling before.

I stabbed rorys mum in the eye with my penis

Pretend to be a girl's father and call the school and have her excused for some sex...

hahahaha sounds ferris bueller ish

I'll try to think of one other than my national park sex one......

Pretend to be a girl's father and call the school and have her excused for some sex...

http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2900/edrooneymugshotas8.jpg

Just try that shit on my watch asshole!

One night at a party these two hot little blonde sluts were drunk and decided to put on a show for us. We were all standing in the living room in a circle while they 69'd on the carpet in the center. I went to the fridge and started pouring chocolate syrup on them. I was pouring it on the girl on tops ass crack and let it pour onto the other girls face.

After the carpet was completely fucked, we moved the party to the bathroom where they showered for us and took turns sucking me and my friend joey off. Shortly after me and my friend justin took the ladies with us to jack in the box for some jumbo jiggys and then returned to the party.

Upon arrival, we noticed an altercation taking place outside. We were all drunk and walked up like, who beat you up? Some bloody fool decided he then wanted to fight us. My friend knocked him out with one punch, he got rushed, I rushed who rushed him, and then I got rushed from behind. I got thrown on the street and got a little road rash on my ear, thry weren't exactly die hard because things started to disperse rather quickly. I quick scanned the area and found the guy who rushed me and squared off with him. He put his hands up and I blasted him right through his hands and tagged him right on the chin. His feet flew out from underneath him and he landed square on his back, HARD. After he hit the ground he did a full backwards sommersalt, popped up on his feet, and started running the opposite way across the street and collapsed on the asphalt and hit his face, once again, HARD. Greatest knockout of my highlight career.

After all the beer was gone, I walked with one of the girls around the corner to her house and fucked her on the floor in the living room while her boyfriend and kid were sleeping in the next room over. Then, I walked to my baby mama's house and went to sleep.

Most satisfying night ever..

^damn and I was just gonna give the breakup story between the greatest fuck of my life (whore but not the type you pay for). This doesn't nearly live up to that one above. But anyyyyways

Um I had just gotten better from being sick as shit and called her and she's like yeah I gotta tell you I cheated on you. Me: Ok (cause I already knew she a whore, she was fucking me before work after she left her husband at home) then came the punchline

Her: With 3 guys Me: uhhhhh Her: at the same time Me: *phone click*

That was a little too much even from a ho I expected it from. Just figured that fit in this thread cause its a lil funny

I onced jerked after i got out from jail after a couple of months (when i was a young troublemaker around the age of 18) to madonna's like a prayer video.

I onced jerked after i got out from jail after a couple of months (when i was a young troublemaker around the age of 18) to madonna's like a prayer video.

The burning cross or the black jesus part?

Years ago I fucked my best friend at the times girlfriend in a hotel room on the same bed he was passed out on due to a heavy intake of pills and booze.

We almost got caught fucking like 50 times after that.

Good times..

The burning cross or the black jesus part?

something about that red hair and red velvety dress with shoulder strap hanging low.

freaks

I got fuck stories for days. I've had 2 different girls swallow my cum and make the most horrific face ever imaginable only to follow it up by telling me that I tasted sour. Wtf?

I got fuck stories for days. I've had 2 different girls swallow my cum and make the most horrific face ever imaginable only to follow it up by telling me that I tasted sour. Wtf?

Bleach.

one time i woke up and was covered in clown cream

I got fuck stories for days. I've had 2 different girls swallow my cum and make the most horrific face ever imaginable only to follow it up by telling me that I tasted sour. Wtf?

Too much dairy or meat not enough fruit. 4 Real though.

Bleach.

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

eating pineapples would solve that

Jerking off in the forrest is better especially when there is a tree with a lumpy and vuluptous bulbous trunk that you can pretend are tits.

down here in palmdale there a creek about 10 miles away
and on the way there this winding road and on one of the bends theres this tree thats all bent and shit and it looks like some guy standing with his chick bent over in front of him

Knothole gang?

Ferguson, change your av dude. That is not pleasant.

Its purdy!

ttt

soon.

soon.

cool, wif who? upside down? how many cucumbers will be involved?

cool, wif who? upside down? how many cucumbers will be involved?

Mind yo business, nosey.

Mind yo business, nosey.

i would if my bussiness included cucumber secks

cool, wif who? upside down? how many cucumbers will be involved?

:gojerkit:

:gojerkit:

thats the plan

Best Lay: Prom sophmore year with this slutty girl. Her friends bought a nice ass hotel room and they left to go get people, they wound up going to some party so the girl and I fucked on the couch/spa oustide/bathtub with water jets/shower/toilet/bed/then finally climaxing while ramming her from behind over the bathroom sink looking at the window.

Best Jackoff ever was on a snowboarding trip in a cheap hotel, my parents were out at a bar and I could hear people in the next room over fucking, so I posted up by the wall and went with it.

Also did it once too my roomate fuckign this chick earlier this year, she was loud and I couldn't really read my book so I just went with it.

Also this one girl from high school was terrible in bed so I rolled over and finished myself off, took like 2 minutes longer than it should cause she made it akward.

Best handjob was from the Asian chick in my porn, the first time she did it to get me going for foreplay she was so rapid and crazy with it I busted a nut 10 seconds into it.

best head I ever recieved was from some 25 year old married chick I worked with in retail, she was new in town and had no friends so I took advantage of her social disposition, turned out she was a really big slut so it worked out both ways.

most shameful sex was with this girl from my guild in World of Warcraft, I was a Holy paladin and she was a Holy priest and together we were class leaders so I spent more time with her in raids/farming mats for flasks she practically fell in love with my ass, sent me nudes for awhile. She had grandparents out here in arizona and her grandfather died 2 years ago, when she came out here for the funeral we hooked up and had sex, afterward she started crying so I cheered her up with more sex. Felt like that one scene in the car from the John Kusak movie High Fidelity, god I can't even talk tot hat girl anymore.

Most embarrasing foreplay moment was with this girl named Shelly Treadaway, I was a sophmore and couldn't drive, she was a year up so she always had to drive me around. I spouted cheesy love lines ripped from movies she's never heard of and we sent to lookout points at night in her Jetta, well the first time she gave me head I kicked my leg up and relaxed, then let out a nasty fart, the kind that sound wet and nasty, I probably left a little stain.

Best Lay: Prom sophmore year with this slutty girl. Her friends bought a nice ass hotel room and they left to go get people, they wound up going to some party so the girl and I fucked on the couch/spa oustide/bathtub with water jets/shower/toilet/bed/then finally climaxing while ramming her from behind over the bathroom sink looking at the window.

Best Jackoff ever was on a snowboarding trip in a cheap hotel, my parents were out at a bar and I could hear people in the next room over fucking, so I posted up by the wall and went with it.

Also did it once too my roomate fuckign this chick earlier this year, she was loud and I couldn't really read my book so I just went with it.

Also this one girl from high school was terrible in bed so I rolled over and finished myself off, took like 2 minutes longer than it should cause she made it akward.

Best handjob was from the Asian chick in my porn, the first time she did it to get me going for foreplay she was so rapid and crazy with it I busted a nut 10 seconds into it.

best head I ever recieved was from some 25 year old married chick I worked with in retail, she was new in town and had no friends so I took advantage of her social disposition, turned out she was a really big slut so it worked out both ways.

most shameful sex was with this girl from my guild in World of Warcraft, I was a Holy paladin and she was a Holy priest and together we were class leaders so I spent more time with her in raids/farming mats for flasks she practically fell in love with my ass, sent me nudes for awhile. She had grandparents out here in arizona and her grandfather died 2 years ago, when she came out here for the funeral we hooked up and had sex, afterward she started crying so I cheered her up with more sex. Felt like that one scene in the car from the John Kusak movie High Fidelity, god I can't even talk tot hat girl anymore.

Most embarrasing foreplay moment was with this girl named Shelly Treadaway, I was a sophmore and couldn't drive, she was a year up so she always had to drive me around. I spouted cheesy love lines ripped from movies she's never heard of and we sent to lookout points at night in her Jetta, well the first time she gave me head I kicked my leg up and relaxed, then let out a nasty fart, the kind that sound wet and nasty, I probably left a little stain.



i think its safe to say you've gotten laid more than all other WoW players combined

i think its safe to say you've gotten laid more than all other WoW players combined

Yeah I contemplating talkign about allof my embarrasing sex moments, I have a laundry list of shit.

i met him on ninjashoes.net.

TREWSTORY.



loleridgaf.

i met him on ninjashoes.net.

TREWSTORY.



loleridgaf.

Yeah? I thought you didn't want to tell them about us?

Yeah? I thought you didn't want to tell them about us?

LIAR.

LIAR.

Lolz. Seems it went well?

Lolz. Seems it went well?

ninjashoes is for lovers.

ninjashoes is for lovers.

I am a hater. How is this possible?

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ninjashoes is for lovers.

twice.

to answer the question - the next one.

i bet bobbys one involves snakes.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2356/1691068444_d3c282ae38.jpg

Jacking off to Emily is second best to actual sex. Sometimes better....

i dont dig fat chicks

The short version, was slaughtering this chicks asshole while holding a gun to her head.....right before she came, i fired a shot off right next to her head just to make it THAT much more intense for her.....thinking she might be shot dead as she was getting off at the same time = MAAAJJJOOOORRR adrenaline rush. Needless to say, she squirted like a fountain thats got to much water in it.


*Of course this didn't actually happen but, this is my goal to do someday.....Godzuki agrees it would be HOT AS HELL.

uhh.
no.

The short version, was slaughtering this chicks asshole while holding a gun to her head.....right before she came, i fired a shot off right next to her head just to make it THAT much more intense for her.....thinking she might be shot dead as she was getting off at the same time = MAAAJJJOOOORRR adrenaline rush. Needless to say, she squirted like a fountain thats got to much water in it.


*Of course this didn't actually happen but, this is my goal to do someday.....Godzuki agrees it would be HOT AS HELL.

YOU ARE NOT SPAIN.

i dont dig fat chicks

you are a virgin stfu