A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act was for him to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately let it dry for only 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.

"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."

Source: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/08/21/1187462212841.html

Crazy dwarves!

this was on the front page of the local paper

haha what a dumbass

What's A&E stand for? I'm guessing it's something like ER in the states but I cant figure out what it stands for.

accident and emergency

its where you go to sit with assorted maniacs for long periods of time.

saying that i was in x-rayed and out in about an hour the other day

accidents and emergency sounds like hanging with the drunks and the peeps with assorted things up their respective asses.

Man I wanna go to Scotland

used to be it was always friday/ saturday night we'd end up in there due to some one getting beat up or doing something stupid.

total pain in the ass. i remember one time we were in cos a friend had had his cheekbone broken by a bouncer. sitting in the waiting area while he was getting seen to this crazy looking cunt asks if we know how to skin up. im like no. my frinds like yeah no problem

so the next thing were all standing in the disabled toilet with this nutter and his tiny bit of hash and hes all concerned that were gonna fuck up this joint

pans out hes on day release - were just like there you go man - nah were not wanting a smoke

later!

then he got thrown out the hospital for smoking hash in the waiting room

yep. dont wanna get injured on the weekend

hajaha weekend jail/hospital trips are hilarious. Last month we ended up at this strip club/whorehouse and my buddy decides to whip out his camera and start taking pictures, needless to say the cops roll up and take him away. The thing is he gets a little mouthy when he drinks so they start chopping him across the chest and throw his ass in jail. Good times.

never a good idea to get annoying with the police

In Tijuana though, they'll fuck with you even if you dont fuck with them. Something about being out on the weekend at all hours of the night that begs getting pulled over and fuct with.

same with the police in spain.

lift you, beat your ass and then extort money from you to get released from jail

happened to loads of friends

same with the police in spain.

lift you, beat your ass and then extort money from you to get released from jail

yeah that's pretty much what can happen here. Usually you can just avoid most of it by talking your way out of if you getpulled over. If you're drunken on the street is a whole diff. story. I kinda like it cause it keeps all the crazy ass druggies off the streets. If you're stupid enough to get picked up by em, chances are they saved you from getting mugged or beaten up.

its gonna help if you speak the language too.

rather than slowly shouting at them and adding an "o" to the end of words

weo go to hotelo

helpo! where is the bathroomo?

yeah speaking spanish pwns!

i watch dora the explorer sometimes. im like 3 shows off being fluent.

I think that bitch is from central america. That's a whole nother type of spanish. Stupid dialects. My little niece goes into a fucking trance watching that whora the explorer.

so you dont understand it?

No I understand it it's just that we use diff. slang and shit. Like my spanish speaking is fluent but the way I choose to talk is just mad niggerish. I use nothing but slang and what not.

so doras not down with teh street happenings?

esse.

i base much of my knowledge of mexicans on the movie colors.

i imaging you like frog.

do you have a white t-shirt under a shirt with only the top button buttoned

cos there was a craze for that here when colors came out.

mostly among skaters and hippity hoppity people

hajaha colors. Nah man i'm mostly into wearing rock shirts and jeans. Fuck button shirts it's hot as balls right now. Fucking global warming of shitz!

do you at least throw gang signs?

I throw up the horns every chance I get. Peace signs too. I'm a regular pacifist mexicano. I do talk gangsta from time to time.

got an ak?

cos bullshit walks when the ak talks

i would have an ak if i was american

yeah man I think that's more up odd's alley. It's almost like Odd is as tough as he is and he has all of the toughness I could have if I was tough.

Odd is hardcore.

convicted felons cant own guns.

legally anyway.

but i would have one legally. in a gun club citizen kinda way rather than a gangsta drive by way

yeah man guns are tight. I hope when i become a citizen of the US, I can buy some.

where you stay now like?

mehico?

i been there once when i was a kid. the rental car got robbed when we parked it

i had my starwars figures with me though so i pwned them

hajaha really? what part? I live in Tijuana right now which is right across the border from san diego. Most of the time though I stay in san diego cause my whole family lives there. I basically bounce around most of the time.

that was probably it - we left from san diego

the walked about some markets and shit. it was a long time ago.

im sure we ate in a chinese restaurant

that was probably it - we left from san diego

the walked about some markets and shit. it was a long time ago.

im sure we ate in a chinese restaurant

Yeah that's tijuana for ya. The most crossed border in the world is there. We have some bomb chinese food there. Also there's donkeys painted as zebras wearing sombreros. Also there's a couple of drug cartels battling it out from time to time


War Tijuana!

dont remember the drugs war - may have been sleeping through that part of the day

it was hot. and a lengthy drive.

yeah that border wait is bullshit.

here's a donkey zebra

http://www.digthatcrazyfarout.com/oldtj/TJ_donkey500.jpg

is that dora on it?

ok need more vodka and food.

brb

ok im fed and have a drink at my side.

150 posts to go

wow it's only been 50!? Fuck it I have 3 hours of work left to go. May I suggest starting a new thread?

what sort of thread?

go for it. i am lcking inspiration

*lacking

also im no way gonna make 3 hours.

i gotta be up at 5 for an 8 hour drive

hmm okay i'm gonna give it a go

WAR NEW THREAD

.... the time your taking it better be good.

HAHA WTF?

HAHA WTF?

i take it thats in response to the dwarfs penis bit.

those crazy dwarfs

wouldnt see a hobbit or an elf pulling that shit.

this was on the front page of the local paper

it was you wasnt it?

saying that i was in x-rayed and out in about an hour the other day

sure you were

no i only have a dwarf penis. the rest of me is proper size

sure you were

tis true.

no breaks just badly bruised

My penis pwns baby penii

mine is like a babies pinkie

poor bastard

yep.

big balls though.

like basket balls

look like a one handled spacehopper

ewwwwwww

less orangey