"Layeth the smacketh down."

"If you smell...what The Rock...is...cooking!"

"The Rock says..."

"Know your role and shut your mouth!"

"Finally, The Rock has come back to (name of city)."

"This ain't 'Sing Along With The Rock'!"

"It doesn't matter what you think!"

"Who is this roody-poo?"

"It doesn't matter what your name is!"

"Who in the blue hell are you?"

"The Rock is 'The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment!'"

"Jabroni!"

"Just bring it!"

"I'm gonna take this (object), shine it up real nice, turn it side ways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"

"Do you like pie?"

"The Rock's gonna take your monkey ass down to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive and check you in to the Smackdown Hotel!"

"The Rock is going to lay the smack down all over your candy ass!"

"This is The Rock's show! This is SmackDown!"

"The jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, the best in the present, future and past, and if ya'll don't like me you can kiss the people's ass!"

Welcome to the dog house!
-The Road Dog Jesse James

Have a nice day!
-Mankind

...And thats the bottom line, cause Stone Cold, said so!
-Stone Cold Steve Austin

Know your role and shut your mouth!
-The Rock

It's true, It's true!
-Kurt Angle

Your ass, better call somebody!
-The New Age Outlaws

Suck it!
-D-Generation X

I'm the best there is,... the best there was,... and the best that'll ever will be.
-Bret

What a rush!
-The Legion of Doom

Banzi!
-Yokozuna

It's time, It's time, It's Vader time!
-Vader

Hey... Yo!
-Razor Ramon

Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!
-Cactus Jack

It's Mr.Socko!
-Mankind

You will rest... in... peace!
-The Undertaker

I'am the game!
-Triple HHH

If you smell, what the Rock is, cook'n!
-The Rock

Let's all get on the...hooo train!
-The Godfather

Every man has a price!
-The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase

Enough is, enough and it's time for a change!
-Owen Hart

You want some, come get some!
-John Cena

You Can't See Me
-Johnathan Cena

That's Right! I Own the WCW!
-Vince McMahon

You're Fired!!!
-Vince McMahon

Don't Piss Me Off!
-Jeff Jarret

Hey Chico!!!.....Razor Ramon!!!
-The Rock

Whatcha Gonna Do Brother, When These 24 inch Pythons run wild on Youuuuuu!!!
-Hulk Hogan

Welcome to the New Raw!!!
-John Cena

Once you're in the nWo, you're in it 4-Life!
-Hall and Nash

You can take this job and shove it because I quit.
-J.R.

Life sucks, and then you die!
-Vince McMahon

I am not a Nugget
-Owen Hart

The King of Bling Bling
-Chris Jericho

PUPPIES
-Jerry Lawler

Oh My Gawd!!!
-Joey Styles

On the 8th day, God created Mankind. Why was he having such a bad day? Why did he create all of you normal...but forget so many important parts of me?
-Mankind

Owww! Have mercy!
-Dude Love

BANG BANG!
-Cactus Jack

Destruction CAN be beautiful!
-Mankind

I am the gaaaaaame
-Triple H

It's true. It's damn ture.
-Kurt Angle

What's up with that.
-The Hurricane

Sorry, My watch doesn't speak spanish.
-Stone Cold Steve Austin

Don't Throw Rocks at a man Whose got a Machine gun
-Rowdy Roddy Piper

Take your ass to the corner of Know Your Role Boulevard and Jabroni Drive.
-The Rock

Be afraid...be VERY afraid!
-The Undertaker

He's like Harvard in The Summer, No Class
-Christopher Nowinski

You will remember the name ...of...GOLDUST.
-Goldust

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
-X-pac

Moonpies Rule
-Mick Foley

'Cause We need beer money!!!
-Bradshaw

I'm Unstoppable
-Brock Lesnar

GORE!!!, GORE!!!, GORE!!!
-Paul Heyman

Yuu..Jakkassu
-TAKA Michinoku

I've got just 3 words: Ain't I Great?
-Jeff Jarrett

Why don't you make a contibution yo my sanity, and do the one thing you never seem to be able to do...;SHUT UP!!!
-Triple H

Rest in peace
-Undertaker

I don't give a damn what the fans think cause quite frankly I know what the fans want better than they do.
-Vince McMahon

For the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching at home and for *insert punn here* LLLLEEETSSS GET READY TO SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ITTTTTTTTT!!!!!
-Triple H

ric flair:WOOO!!!!!

Jerry "The King" Lawler: "Oh My God,J.R."

"Sportsmanship...what a load of crap, don't preach your morality to me. Steve Austin doesn't have any mercy... you want mercy? Take your *ss to church!" -- Steve Austin

"You can talk about your Psalms and your John 3:16. Well, Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your *ss." - Steve Austin

"Vince Mcmahon may have bought this ring but if you get your *ss in it Stone Colds going to throw your *ss out of it" -- Steve Austin

"She's had more hands on her than a doorknob" - The Bodydonnas on Sunny.

"Greetings to all of our fans in Memphis! As we all know, there are two types of Elvis' - there was fat Elvis, and really fat Elvis! But the sad thing is - none of us will ever get the chance to find how fat Elvis really would have been - because, he ended up like this town -- Dead!!!!" -- Christian.

"Now, speaking of sore-losers, how fitting is it that we are in the capital city of sore-losers, Buffalo, New York! Now, I'm talking, Superbowls, Stanley Cup Finals, O.J.! It 'so' doesn't get more depressing than right here." -- Christian.

"To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Whoooo!" -- Ric Flair

"I'm a limousine-riding, jet-flying, kiss-stealing, wheeling-dealing son of a gun, who's kissed all the girls and made them cry." -- Ric Flair

"Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going." -- Ric Flair

"I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Mick Foley / Cactus Jack

"Kick him when he's down, he's easier to reach." -- Scott Hall

"You don't have to yell at me, Schiavone. I'm not blind!" -- Bobby Heenan

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." -- Jeff Jarrett

"[Sunny] didn't make a fool out of Phineas -- God beat her to that." -- Jerry Lawler

"You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in a T.V. western--if she had two more legs!" -- Jerry Lawler

"You never really know a woman till you meet her in court." -- Jerry Lawler

"Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick." -- Jerry Lawler.

"Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the bible." -- Jerry Lawler

"The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink." -- Jerry Lawler.

"I have balls the size of grapefruits, and come this Sunday you'll be spitting out the seeds!" -- Vince McMahon

"Did your parents build knows you a swing facing a wall when you were a kid?" -- Roddy Piper

"You'll find sympathy in the dictionary between sh*t and suicide." - Roddy Piper

"I'm gonna stick your head so far up your *ss your gonna have to cut holes in your nipples to see!" -- The Rock

"Let the Rock take out his magical, invisible crystal ball. He sees Edge...he sees Christian...good news, you're still WWE tag team champions - but hold on, it's a little foggy....ah there it is, clear as crystal. It's a picture of the Rock whipping both your monkey*sses all over Louisville!" -- The Rock

"Yes...the Rock DOES want to retract his statement. The Big Show is NOT a jabrone....but what the Big Show IS, is a seven foot, five hundred pound, steaming, stinking, steaming, stinking pile of Grade-A monkey crap! And the Rock says this, Big Show, did the Rock call you a jabrone? You damn right he did, he called twenty others a jabrone as well, shut your mouth, and look at the Rock, read the Rock's lips - jabrone - J-A-B-R-O-N-I-X-Y-Z-A-B-C-oh, it doesn't MATTER how you spell 'jabrone!' The Rock says this, Big Show, come Royal Rumble - the Rock's Rumble - the Rock guarand*mntees to take his hand and one, by one, by d*mn one, over the top rope, the Rock guarand*mnteeing winning the Royal Rumble, the Rock, going to WrestleMania, and going out of WrestleMania...the People's Champion." -- The Rock

"Now, Bad *ss, you run your mouth about Summerslam. Well, here's the situation. The Rock says this, if the Rock hits you he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours jabroni." -- The Rock

"Don't you ever, and the Rock means EVER, come at the Rock and ask him a question like that again, or else the Rock will knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll stick a toothbrush up your *ss to brush 'em!" -- The Rock

"Obviously The Rock is here. Obviously he has just checked Mankind into the Smackdown Hotel at the corner of Know your Role Blv. and Jabroni Drive." -- The Rock

"You see, so the Rock says there's a little lesson to be learned here and that lesson is this. Big Show, you see, when you insult the Rock, when you insult the Great One, when you insult the People's Champion, you insult...the People. Now seeing as you've insulted the People, you've left the Rock with not one but two choices! The first choice is the Rock could go in the back, take off his $500 shirt, wait 'til Sunday and eliminate your big candy*ss to win the Royal Rumble. And then there's the...second choice. And seeing as we are here on the Rock's show SmackDown!, the Rock figured he'd just...walk down the People's Ramp - just like this...stop in the middle, just like this - inhale the electricity from the millions - of Rock's fans keep walkin', just like this...come up in the middle of the People's Ring and kick your candy*ss all over Providence." -- The Rock

"...(O)n top of all that, look at this guy? I mean he's a idiot, he's 7 feet of pure idiot. You put his brain in a parakeet... zing! It'll fly backwards." -- The Rock

"This crowd is letting Kurt know that he sucks. Just in case he had forgotten." -- Jim Ross

"I'd hate to end your career tonight -- well, not really." -- Al Snow to the Rock & Roll Express

"I don't have 30 days and 30 nights, to show you why all the hoochies say there's nothing finer than Scott Steiner, but all I need is one night to have your wife call me for the rest of her life, the big bad booty daddy, so this goes to all my freaks out there, Big Poppa Pump is your hook up, hollar if you hear me." -- Scott Steiner1`

"Why put off kicking somebody's *ss next week when I can do it right now." -- The Undertaker

"It doesn't make you bad losing to Rob Van Dam... it just makes you like everybody else." -- Rob Van Dam

"This leg will be known as Christmas, and this leg will be known as New Year's! So ladies, why don't you all come visit the Big Valbowski between the holidays?" -- Val Venis

"Win if you can, lose if you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura

Jim Ross mentions he has been working in the Wrestling field for 27 years
___________________

February 2007

DONALD TRUMP quote :
"Vince your are a rich guy....I'm a Richer guy!
_____________________________________

JANUARY 2007

JIM ROSS QUOTE: "The Great Khali is a Freak of nature!!!...and I don't mean that in a disrespectful way"
_______________________________________

11/20/2006

JERRY "KING" LAWLER: " this looks more like a HUMANLITION DERBY"
________________________

9/8/06

JBL: " Guerrero in English means warrior"
" I don't have any respect for any man that wears a dress Vito"
____________________________________


3/13/06

SHAWN MICHAELS: "It is better to be pissed-off ...than be
pissed on!"
__________________________________

SHELTON BENJAMIN'S MAMA: "Where's my baby boy?"
_______________________________________________

"WHERE THERE IS SMOKE...THERE IS PIPER"

JIM ROSS QUOTE: "He is bleeding as fast as a heartbeat"

Jake "The Snake" Roberts tells Randy Orton that he knew and respected Orton's dad and grandfather, so he's here in the ring to....."INTRODUCE YOUR BRAIN TO YOUR MOUTH..BECAUSE YOU ARE TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS!"

JIM ROSS: " those turnbuckles are not made of chocolate."
" there is no bar-b-que sause on that canvas..so it can't taste good!"

Jerry "KING" Lawler quote: " SPIT HAPPENS"

Jerry "KING Lawler quote: "what is she almost wearing?"

JIM ROSS: "Japanese wrestling is sucking pond water". The WWE has a Smackdown! tour scheduled for Japan in July.
source: Slam sports.com

QUOTE: "A Steel Cage Elimination Chamber Match..... is where wrestler's careers go to die."

OUOTE: " He is a stain on the underwear of life."
OUOTE: " He puts the FUN in disfunctional."

OUOTE: "Women Wrestlers are like parking lots, the good ones
are already taken."
OUOTE: " It's going to be a SLOBBER KNOCKER!"

BIG SHOW QUOTE: "you're just like a squirrel in the winter time you've got no nuts"

The ROCK to HOGAN: Who knew, that a man with 24 inch pythons would have half inch testicles!

JOHN CENA QUOTE: " you want some?..come get some!!"



It is the dream of every WWE Superstar to hear their name chanted by thousands of WWE fans. But only the truly special get their name chanted.

ALL HAIL KING BOOKER....ALL HAIL KING BOOKER....a shout from his wife Sharmell as he enters the ring.

HARDY....HARDY....HARDY....HARDY.....HARDY.....HAR DY
______________________________________________

"We want Matt!" "We want Matt!" "We want Matt!" "We want Matt!"

ANGLE SUCKS...ANGLE SUCKS...ANGLE SUCKS....

LASHLEY....LASHLEY.....LASHLEY....LASHLEY.....

BOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOO ....BBBBBBBBOOOOOO

CHANTS AT EVENTS 2005

STACY IS HOT!....STACY IS HOT!....STACY IS HOT!

(to Edge)
You screwed MATT...you screwed MATT...you screwed MATT!!

(to Hulk Hogan)
one more match.....one more match.....one more match!!

(to Hassan)
GO HOME...GO HOME....GO HOME....GO HOME!!

Boring....boring....boring...boring!!

shut up....shut up....shut up....shut up shut up!!

HOGAN HOGAN HOGAN HOGAN HOGAN!

HBK....HBK....HBK...HBK.....HBK...

BATISTA ...BATISTA ...BATISTA .....BATISTA!

EDDIE... EDDIE ...EDDIE...EDDIE....

WHAT?...WHAT?...WHAT?....WHAT?

WE WANT MATT.....WE WANT MATT....WE WANT MATT!!

LOSER.....LOSER.....LOSER.....LOSER

WHY EDDIE....WHY EDDIE....WHY EDDIE?

EDDIE SUCKS....EDDIE SUCKS....EDDIE SUCKS

---------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------

CHANTS: often heard in 2003-2004 from the fans in the stands....

GOLDBERG...GOLDBERG....GOLDBERG

USA....USA....USA....USA.

SHAVE YOUR BACK....SHAVE YOUR BACK

TAKE IT OFF....TAKE IT OFF...TAKE IT OFF

BORING.....BORING....BORING...BORING...

HBK....HBK....HBK....HBK.

EDDIE...EDDIE...EDDIE.

AUSTIN....AUSTIN....AUSTIN

BENOIT...BENOIT...BENOIT.

CENA....CENA....CENA....CENA.

YOU TAPPED OUT....YOU TAPPED OUT!

YOU SUCK ....YOU SUCK...YOU SUCK

COACH SUCKS...COACH SUCKS.

ASSCLOWN....ASSCLOWN....ASSCLOWN

ASSHOLE...ASSHOLE....ASSHOLE

TABLES....TABLES....TABLES...TABLES

RVD...RVD...RVD...RVD

TAP OUT....TAP OUT....TAP OUT.....

ROCKY...ROCKY...ROCKY...ROCKY

FOLEY ....FOLEY.....FOLEY

6...1...9...6...1...9...6...1...9

BOOOOOOOO ....BOOOOOOOO....BOOOOOOOO

ONE.........TWO.........THREE.......FOUR......FIVE .....SIX.....SEVEN......

HOLLY....HOLLY....HOLLY

SCOTTY...SCOTTY...SCOTTY

Y2J....Y2J.....Y2J.....Y2J

MOLLY....MOLLY....MOLLY

SLUT...SLUT....SLUT

LITA .....LITA.....LITA....

BENOIT....BENOIT....BENOIT

EDGE.....EDGE.....EDGE....EDGE

'TAKER.....'TAKER.....'TAKER

EUGENE.....EUGENE.....EUGENE....

ROCKY.....ROCKY.....ROCKY....

POPCORN FART....POPCORN FART....

LET'S GO JERICHO...LET'S GO JERICHO...

RANDY SUCKS...RANDY SUCKS...RANDY SUCKS

RKO .....RKO.....RKO.....RKO.

" I spit in the face of people who don't think that's cool."
_ Carlito Cool

"IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE BLOND NAKED ...YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL." ......Trish Stratus quote when asked if she will ever be in PLAYBOY MAGAZINE.

QUOTES:

"BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP HERE ON RAW.".....J.R. the voice on RAW

"THE RED WHITE AND BLUE COLORS.....DON'T RUN!"

"Have a nice day".........Mick Foley

"Hello Ladies!".............Val Venis

"Oh Hell yeah"...................Steve Austin

"hisssisshiss...Haaaw.".....Golddust

"You can't see me!"........John Cena

"Hey Jabronie."................The Rock



"Mrs. Foley's baby boy."

"DO YOU WANT A LITTLE CHEESE WITH THAT WHINE?"...Lawler

"Tell me you did not just say that"..........Booker T.

"I can not believe the bloody carnage here tonight."....J.Ross

"Kane is a sadistic monster.".......J.Ross

"Stacy's legs go on forever."........Jerry Lawler

" What can possibly happen next here tonight!"....J.Ross

" I can not believe what I just saw!"......J.Ross

" I must apologize to you folks for his last remarks."....J.Ross

" WHAT A BLOODY CARNEGE....J.Ross


"You don't want to mess with the ROCK and SOCK connection."
"Who are you two popcorn farts?".....The Rock

"Who's Next?"......Goldberg
"Here comes the Puppies"........Jerry Lawler
"Do you smell That the Rock is Cook'n...........The Rock
"You need me more than I need you." ......HHH to the fans
" I hate you Sable."...........Stephanie McMahon
"What's up with that?".............Hurricane
"Beer me."......Steve Austin
" Hey..you want a piece of me?".....HHH

"WE CHEAT ...WE LIE...WE STEAL"..................Eddie Guererro

YO....YO...YO...YOU............John Cena

"D-von!..get the tables!"........Bubba Dudley

" IT'S LIVE AND IT'S TONIGHT ON RAW."........Jim Ross

"I CAN'S BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW!!!..........Jim Ross

"Just what is the meaning of this?"...............Jim Ross
"I can't believe my eyes J R."...................Jerry Lawler
" What a night and it has just begun!" .....Jim Ross

" It's not the size of the dog in the fight...it's the size of the fight in the dog."

“I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler.”
kennywrestler

Socrates quotes (Ancient Greek Philosopher, 470 BC-399 BC)
About: Wrestling quotes.
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I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I hate questioning, but I love wrestling.”
unfaized

Aaron Smith quotes
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I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Wrestling is ballet with violence.”

Jesse Ventura quotes (American Governor of Minnesota, b.1952)
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I Like this quote I dislike this quote“It's a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you're tired-you quit when the gorilla is tired.”

Robert Strauss quotes
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I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Join me in Olympic Heros for Abstinence. The best sex is no sex.”
sjvfootball

Kurt Angle quotes (American is a 1996 Olympic gold medalist in freestyle wrestling and now a professional wrestler performing for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). b.1968)
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I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Never wrestle with a strong man nor bring a rich man to court.”

Latvian Proverb quotes
About: Law and lawyers quotes, Power quotes, Wrestling quotes.
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I Like this quote I dislike this quote“You do not boo an Olympic Gold Medalist. I'm the best in the world. I came here for you. You dont' boo me.”
sjvfootball

Kurt Angle quotes (American is a 1996 Olympic gold medalist in freestyle wrestling and now a professional wrestler performing for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). b.1968)

100) Bobby Heenan commenting on Hoagan's entrance music
Heenan: That's my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.

99) "Who's that, the windbreaker?" -- Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.

98) "ohhh yeah, dig it!" -- Randy Savage

97) "He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

96) Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: "They look like to carp going after the same piece of corn."

95) Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change: "It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...GET THE MONEY!"

94) "Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?" -- "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan

93) Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentance... and he said "parole"."

92) "He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink

91) "NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!" -- King Kong Bundy

90) "Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura

89) Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."

88) Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"
Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."
Brian: Nope...it means lard.

87) "The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon

86) Bobby H. on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous."

85) "Do you have any bald ice cream?" -- Bobby H.

84) "I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette

83) "Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a strecher? NO! I got right up and walked out!" -- Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries.

82) "Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik

81) "I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White." -- Scotty "The Body" Anthony

80) Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing: "If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!"

79) Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"

78) Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"

77) Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters: "I see the rodeo's in town again."

76) "Hey! Everyone look at me! I'm the BAD guy" -- The Dimond Studd

75) "I'm going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!" -- Cactus Jack

74) "Hollywood Joohn Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day! -- Scotty Anthony"

73) "Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler's physique!" -- Scott Anthony

72) "The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!" -- GWF announcer <Craig?> Anderson

71) I'm so quick,m Icould spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old ladie behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

70) Bobby H on the Rossati sisters: "The only thing they recognize is a buffet"

69) "I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over." -- Scotty Anthony

68) "Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24" pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?" -- Hulk Hogan

66) Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."

65) "Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!" -- Larry Zybisco

64) "This is for all the little Stingers" -- Cactus Jack

63) "I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning." -- Sgt. Slughter after burning Hogan's face

62) "I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate.

61) "What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher

60) "Macho madness lives forver!" -- Randy S.

59) "Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren't." -- Randy Savege on Elizabeth being at WMVII

58) "Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul E.

57) "Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers." -- Bobby H on Lou Ferign's speach impediment

56) "The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are." -- Jim Cornette

55) "You cannot believe the mayhem!" -- Lance Russel after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring.

54) Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: "Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."

53) Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of
World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...

52) "You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby H

51) " Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper." -- (For thhe 20 septillionth time) -- Bobby H

50) Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"

49) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer: "I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!"

48) "The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" -- Bobby H

47) "He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords." -- Jim Cornette

46) I'm just thisclose to that world's heavyweight championship belt." -- Rusty Brooks

45) "I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling." -- Jim Garvin

44) "Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn." -- -- Jim Cornette

43) "I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack

42) "Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of." -- Road Warrior Hawk

41) "It could be....Giant Baba!" -- Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machine" might be.

40) "I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old." -- Bob Backlund

39) "You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

38) "Want a hot dog, McMahon?" -- Jesse Ventura

37) "Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper

36) "I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion, it was his liver!" -- Cactus Jack

35) "Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!" -- Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon

34) "They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!" -- The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express

33) "Real men wear kilts." -- Roddy Piper

34) "Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan

33) "The pleasure was all yours." -- Jesse Ventura

32) "I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Cactus Jack

31) "I've hung & I've bung..." -- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense

30) "Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper

29) "Often immitated, but never duplicated!" -- Captain Lou Albano

28) "Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair

27) "$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!" -- Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair

26) "Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!" -- Roddy Piper

25) Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:
Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.
Bobby: And slow.

24) "Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper

23) "When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?" -- Bobby Heenan on Beefcake

22) Roddy Piper on Warlord & his facemask: "He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers..."

21) Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?"

20) "It was my pork chop. But that's ok. I ate his dog food." -- Bam Bam Bigelow

19) "I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater." -- "Ravishing" Rick Rude

18) "Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running." -- Roddy Piper

17) Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."

16) "I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircut...$1 for each side." -- Scotty the Body Anthony

15) "Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?" -- Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality

14) "I'm the only man you wouodn't want to wrestle...if I was in shape." -- Billy Whatson

13) "When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!" -- The Road Warriors in their AWA days

12) "He has a lower occipital proturbance!" -- Gorilla Monsoon

11) "If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack

10) "Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox." -- Roddy Piper

9) "I see you have wavey hair....its waveing goodbye!" -- Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF anouncer

8) "He has a calsium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from Havard, and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene." -- Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer

7) "Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark

6) "To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!" -- Ric Flair

5) "Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura

4) "Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?" -- Roddy Piper

3) "Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?" -- Roddy Piper on Flair's nickname

2) "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!" -- Ric Flair

1) (After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit): "Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

~Without the pain there is no gain.~

~its not the size of the dog, its the size of the fight in the dog.~

~its quality not quanity~

~What lies before us and what lies behind us is a tiny matter to what lies within us.~

~fear is nothing but anticipation of pain, be it physical,emotional,spiritual, or mental~

~Winning isnt everything, but losin is nothing.~

~Practice is the effort that makes winning possible~

~Perfection is possible~

~Pride separates excellence from mediocrity~

~Attitude is everything~

~The only thing i want to see on a gym floor is a wrestling mat from door to door~

~Throw down....no wimps~

~I wrestle with demons of doubt. With my past failures. With my inguries. with that unrelenting voice that tells me to stop. But I am a wrestler and one thing will be certain. I will be victorious.~

~If you mess with the best, you'll go down with the rest.~

~I play my game, I play it smart. Energy comes from da heart. I use my head, I move my feet.Don't mess with me I'm 100% ATHLETE.~

~Where honor dies, defeat lies~

~the harder you work.. the harder it is to surrender~

~Pain is Temporary Pride is forever~

*Practice doesnt make perfect, Perfect Practice makes perfect.*

Top 100 Wrestling Quotes of all time:

100) Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music
Heenan: That's my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.

99) "Who's that, the windbreaker?"
Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.

98) "ohhh yeah, dig it!" -- Randy Savage

97) "He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!"
-- Gorilla Monsoon

96) Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife:
"They look like to carp going after the same piece of corn."

95) Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change:
"It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...
GET THE MONEY!"

94) "Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?
-- "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan

93) Bobby Heenan on some Jobber:
"I once asked him what came at the end of the sentance...
and he said "parole"."

92) "He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!"
-- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink

91) "NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!" -- King Kong Bundy

90) "Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs,
MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."
-- Jesse Ventura

89) Paul E. commenting on War Games:
"This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce
on the Kennedy compound."

88) Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"
Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."
Brian: Nope...it means lard.

87) "The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges
had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon

86) Bobby H. on the Ultimate Roider
"This guy makes coffe nervous."

85) "Do you have any bald ice cream?" -- Bobby H.

84) "I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable,
or mineral." -- Jim Cornette

83) "Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through
my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a strecher? NO!
I got right up and walked out!"
Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron
Sheik due to injuries.

82) "Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik

81) "I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only
problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty
White."
-- Scotty "The Body" Anthony

80) Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing:
"If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging
an innocent man!"

79) Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette:
"Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything
he knows, Jim Cornette!"

78) Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane:
"Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith
everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"

77) Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters
"I see the rodeo's in town again."

76) "Hey! Everyone look at me! I'm the BAD guy" -- THe Dimond Studd

75) "I'm going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack
hug right now!" -- Cactus Jack

74) "Hollywood Joohn Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and
10,000 pushups a day!
-- Scotty Anthony"

73) "Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler's physique!"
-- Scott Anthony

72) "The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!"
-- GWF announcer Anderson

71) I'm so quick,m Icould spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit
the old ladie behind me!"
-- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

70) Bobby H on the Rossati sisters
"The only thing they recognize is a buffet"

69) "I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick
me all over."
-- Scotty Anthony

68) "Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24" pythons
run wild on you?!?!?!!?
-- Hulk Hogan

67) "The Ultimate Warrior? He died, and he's now portraid by
Steve DiSalvo."
Sean "Bandwith" Ryan

66) Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird)
"If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."

65) "Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!"
-- Larry Zybisco

64) "This is for all the little Stingers" -- Cactus Jack

63) "I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning."
Sgt. Slughter after burning Hogan's face

62) "I guess you could call that poetry in motion."
Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his
poetry plate.

61) "What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't."
-- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher

60) "Macho madness lives forver!" -- Randy S.

59) "Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd
like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess
you weren't."
Randy Savege on Elizabeth being at WMVII

58) "Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out
with Sammartino. They shave each other's back."
-- Paul E.

57) "Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of
crackers." -- Bobby H on Lou Ferign's speach impediment

56) "The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are."
-- Jim Cornette

55) "You cannot believe the mayhem!"
-- Lance Russel after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with
over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring.


54) Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki
"Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."

53) Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of
World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...

52) "You know why there were onlu 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They
only had one car." -- Bobby H

51) " Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper."
-- (For thhe 20 septillionth time) -- Bobby H

50) Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson:
"He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"

49) Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer:
"I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!"

48) "The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" Bobby H

47) "He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords."
Jim Cornette

46) I'm just thisclose to that world's heavyweight championship
belt." -- Rusty Brooks

45) "I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling."
-- Jim Garvin

44) "Eventually, even a blind squrill will find an acron."
-- Jim Cornette

43) "I can't jump high, so I jump from high places."
-- Cactus Jack

42) "Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are
the things from which dreams are made of."
Road Warrior Hawk

41) "It could be....Giant Babba!"
-- Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machiene" might be.

40) "I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old."
-- Bob Backlund

39) "You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!"
-- Gorilla Monsoon

38) "Want a hot dog, McMahon?"
Jesse V

37) "Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest?
The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team
is Cindy Lauper."
-- Roddy Piper

36) "I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion.
it was his liver!"
-- Cactus Jack

35) "Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!"
-- Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon

34) "They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!"
-- The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express

33) "Real men wear kilts." -- Roddy Piper

34) "Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him,
the more english you get out of him."
-- Bobby Heenan

33) "The pleasure was all yours."
Jesse Ventura

32) "I would rather hurt a man than love a woman."
-- Cactus Jack

31) "I've hung & I've bung..."
-- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense

30) "Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling."
-- Rowdy Roddy Piper

29) "often immitated, but never duplicated!"
Captain Lou Albano

28) "Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling."
-- Roddy P on Ric Flair

27) "$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of
damage to that nose of his!!"
Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair

26) "Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial
Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler,
if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do
ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king.
King of FOOLS, jack!!"
-- Roddy Piper

25) Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:
Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.
Bobby: And slow.

24) "Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling.
-- Roddy Piper

23) "When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone
there unconsious?"
-- Bobby H on Beefcake

22) Roddy Piper on Warlord & his facemask:
"He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training
young wrestlers..."

21) Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan
"Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?"

20) "It was my pork chop. But that's ok. I ate his dog food."
-- Bam Bam Bigelow

19) "I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap
sack look like a cashmere sweater."
-- "Ravishing" Rick Rude

18) "Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running.
He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running."
-- Roddy Piper


17) Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich
"He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."

16) "I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircutt...
$1 for each side."
-- Scotty the Body Anthony

15) "Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you
can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk
with anything, either male or female?"
Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality

14) "I'm the only man you wouodn't want to wrestle...if I was in
shape."
-- Billy Whatson

13) "When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your
face and put it out with an axe!"
-- The Road Warriors in their AWA days

12) "He has a lower occipital proturbance!"
-- Gorilla Monsoon

11) "If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up
the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world."
-- Cactus Jack


And Finally...the long awaited TOP 10...

10) "Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a
fox."
-- Roddy Piper

9) "I see you have wavey hair....its waveing goodbye!"
-- Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF anouncer

8) "He has a calsium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain,
but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from harverd,
and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean
Gene."
-- Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer

7) "Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off."
Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark

6) "To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!"
-- Ric Flair

5) "Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!"
-- Jesse Ventura

4) "Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know
is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?"
-- Roddy Piper

3) "Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell
Gibbons, eating bark or something?"
-- Roddy Piper on Flair's nickname

2) "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the
best thing going. Wooooo!"
-- Ric Flair

Finally, the big #1...

1) (After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit)
"Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions."
-- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

"Stone Cold is in the house!"
-- announcer on a late 1997 edition of RAW, as Stone Cold Steve Austin comes out to confront Vince McMahon


VINCE MCMAHON: "That's something else I've been meaning to talk to you about; your language!"
STEVE AUSTIN: "Dammit Vince, you're right."
MCMAHON: "I said, your language!"
AUSTIN: "Hell son, I'm trying to apologize! Jesus Christ, give me a chance!"


"I'm telling you this-- if Stone Cold comes back out, somebody's going to get their ass whipped!"
-- Austin on a late 1997 edition of RAW


"Nobody, especially Vince McMahon, tells Stone Cold Steve Austin what to do, and that's the bottom line!"
-- Austin after winning the title at WrestleMania XIV


"Steve Austin will never be employee of the month!"
-- J.R. at ringside, after Austin stunners Vince McMahon


"Oh no, boy, it ain't over. Not like that! Get your ass back down here!"
-- Faarooq challenging the Rock to continue a brawl


"Your brother Kane is coming! You, Undertaker, are going to burn in hell!"
-- Paul Bearer to the Undertaker


"Oh my God... wait a minute! It's Paul Bearer! It's Paul Bearer! And that-- that's gotta be-- that's gotta be Kane!"
-- Kane's debut in 1997


"Like looking into his own soul!"
-- announcer at the 1997 pay-per-view Badd Blood as the Undertaker and Kane stand nose-to-nose in their first meeting


"It's Kane! The question is, is he coming to assist DX or dismantle them?"
-- J.R. as Kane heads to the ring


"D-Generation X had better get out of here!"
"He's coming after them; he's right behind them! Run, Hunter, if you can!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Kane goes after DX (Triple H is on crutches)


"My God... the casket is on fire! The Undertaker is in the casket!"
-- terrified announcers at the 1998 Royal Rumble, as Kane sets a casket containing the Undertaker on fire


"Wait-- wait--"
"A purple light has fallen over this arena!"
-- the Undertaker's first appearance since the burning at the '98 Royal Rumble


THE UNDERTAKER (on the stage): "Welcome to hell, and the demon who will lead you into eternal damnation!"
LAWLER: "Ack!"
UNDERTAKER: "Kane... you've disappointed me. Is that the best effort that you could put together? And you, Paul.. the audacity to come out here week after week and claim responsibility for my disappearance! What I was doing was soothing the souls of my parents, because I had to explain to them why I would have to do the one thing I promised never to do."
(Crowd pops, anticipating an Undertaker/Kane showdown on the spot)
PAUL BEARER (in the ring with Kane): "You're not the Phenom anymore! I'm standing next to the real phenom!"
(Columns of fire explode from the four posts of the ring, but the Undertaker steps forward)
UNDERTAKER: "I will walk straight through the fires of hell to face you, Kane! And when you look into the eyes of your older brother, you will understand why I am the most feared entity in the World Wrestling Federation!"
(Kane does a head-tilt)
UNDERTAKER: "You will understand why I am the reaper of wayward souls, and you will understand why I am the lord of darkness! May the hounds of hell eat your rotting soul..."
(Kane continues to stare from the ring)
UNDERTAKER: "...And you will rest in peace!"


"Sable's wearing a sack... a potato sack!"
-- J.R. as Sable heads out with Marc Mero


"Sable... disrobe me, please!"
"Should be the other way around. Pretty big sack... you think I could get in the sack with her?"
-- Marc Mero to Sable, and a comment from Lawler on the potato-sacked Sable


"You know, she LOOKED real good, but there was no motor under the hood!"
-- Jacqueline on Sable


"Honey, this body is primo real estate!"
"How many times have you rented it out?"
-- Jacqueline on herself, and a comment from Sable


"Y'know, there's always liposuction, but you don't want to take a chance that the surgeon might let the air out of the wrong place!"
-- Jacqueline to Sable


"Now... THAT... is a bikini."
-- J.R. on the infamous Sable handprints "bikini," as Lawler damn near has a coronary


"This is a new beginning for D-Generation X, and we're here to rip ass on the World Wrestling Federation! It starts tonight!"
-- X-Pac, returning to the WWF and joining DX all in one night


"We are D-Generation X, and we will take no prisoners as we invade WCW and Nitro!"
-- Triple H, as DX attempts to drive a tank into an arena hosting a WCW event


"Bye bye, Hunter; have fun!"
-- Dude Love from backstage, addressing Triple H (in the ring) as Cactus Jack makes his WWF debut


"This cage may be the final restling place for Terry Funk and Cactus Jack!"
-- J.R. as the New Age Outlaws link up with DX to viciously attack Funk and Jack


"What you did to me and Terry Funk, laying here in the middle of the ring, was not only distasteful and disrespectful, it was God damn disgusting!"
-- Cactus Jack, calling out the crowd for cheering Steve Austin instead of him


"Y'know, the Crock just came from the bathroom... and you should've smelled what the Rock was cooking!"
-- Triple H imitating the Rock as DX parodies the Nation


"When it comes to the Crock and the ladies, and the Crock hits rock bottom, he has no choice but to lay the smackdown on himself!"
"Ya hear that? The brother smacks himself down!"
-- Triple H (as the Rock) and Road Dogg (as D'Lo Brown) continuing the Nation parody


"Can you imagine the Rock? He's broken every piece of furniture in his living room by now!"
-- J.R. as the in-ring Nation parody continues


"Well, enough is enough and it's time for a change!"
"Look at this... it IS Owen Hart!"
"Nobody listens to me! Nobody gives a damn what I think! What the hell am I doing wearing this ridiculous outfit? I look like a damn road sign! What the hell am I? A school crossing?!"
-- Jason Sensation in the ring with DX, imitating Owen Hart as J.R. and Lawler lose it at ringside


"And if anybody smells what the Rock is cooking, it's me! Look how big my damn nose is! What the hell am I, an aardvark? Whoooo!"
"What does the brother look like? An aardvark?"
-- Jason Sensation as Owen and Road Dogg as D'Lo again


TRIPLE H (as the Rock): "I know you're the world's strongest man, and the Crock's got a hell of a body himself, but there's one thing the people want to know! How do you get your pecs to go all the way around to your back like that?"
J.R.: "Oh, MAN!"
ROAD DOGG (as D'Lo): "What he wants to know, is how--"
TRIPLE H (in character): "Shut UP!"
("D'Lo" responds by shrugging and leaping up onto the ropes to deliver his traditional head shake)


"I know I'm late, but my nose got here ten minutes ago! Whooo!"
-- Jason Sensation at ringside with Lawler, giving up a little more Owen Hart


VAL VENIS: "...my latest video..."
ANNOUNCER: "All right, I love these things!"
VENIS: "...entitled, "Land of the Rising Venis!"
ANNOUNCER: "I've got bunches at home!"
(Footage of Val in bed being pleasured by someone under the covers; selected portions are blurred out)
LAWLER: "Land of the rising Venis?"
ANNOUNCER: "Why do they blur out the agents?"
J.R.: "My mama just fainted..."


"I assaulted Stone Cold Steve Austin and got away with it! It was indeed a very special night for me..."
-- Vince McMahon


"You are the world's... dumbest... son of a bitch!"
-- Stone Cold to McMahon


"Hey! Austin's pouring that beer all over the boss!"
-- ringside announcer as Stone Cold gives McMahon a beer bath


"Oh my... business is going to pick up here! Here comes the Rattlesnake!"
"Run! Run, everybody!"
-- J.R. and Lawler as Stone Cold heads to the ring, bent on confronting McMahon, Patterson, and Brisco


"There's Austin! Austin's got a zamboni!"
-- post-Breakdown; Vince, Kane, and the Undertaker watch from the ring as Austin drives a zamboni into the arena


"Get your guns out!"
-- Lawler to the ringside cops as Austin crashes the zamboni into the ring


VINCE MCMAHON: "Three times, three times in less than a week, Austin has brutally attacked me! You didn't live up to your end of the deal-- I'm not going to live up to mine! As far as I'm concerned, it's like dealing with the handicapped. One's physical (indicates Kane), the other is metal (turns to the Undertaker).
THE UNDERTAKER: "You need to watch your ass."
(Vince gulps)
UNDERTAKER: "Because the next time you get out of line with either one of us, you're going to be the one handicapped, and that I will promise."
(Kane and the Undertaker turn their backs; Vince lifts two middle fingers)
MCMAHON: "Fuck--"
(Undertaker turns to face him)
MCMAHON: "--you."
LAWLER: "Uh-oh..."
J.R.: "Oh, he got caught... whoa, the Undertaker just nailed McMahon!"


MANKIND (from underneath Vince McMahon's hospital bed): "I brought another visitor; another special guest!"
MCMAHON: "What the hell are you doing?"
MANKIND (popping up at McMahon's bedside): "Mr. Socko! Say hello to Mr. Socko! Mr. Socko knows you've been feeling mighty bad, so he's going to give your booboo a big kiss!"
MCMAHON: "No, Mick... ack... no; please, just leave."
MANKIND: "Mis-ter Socko!"
MCMAHON: "Please leave. Please..."
(toots on a plastic party favor)
MCMAHON (snaps): "Dammit leave. And take this CRAP with you!"


"How about you, doctor?"
"Oh, I'll take it from here, nurse!"
"NOnononononno!"
-- an unsuspecting nurse, Stone Cold posing as a surgeon, and a panicked Vince McMahon; you can fill in the rest


"Uh oh, I think we got an emergency here! Everybody clear!"
-- Austin using the shock paddles on Vince


"I always knew you were full of shit, Vince! Let's just find out how full of shit you really are! This is gonna hurt you a lot more than its gonna hurt me!"
-- Austin preparing to shove an instrument where the sun don't shine


"That's a FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLAR car!"
-- Lawler as Stone Cold fills Vince's corvette with cement


"Stone Cold... screw you! YOU'RE FIRED!"
-- Vince McMahon


"We have no room for the weak! Only the strong shall survive..."
-- Undertaker, forging his ministry of darkness


"What you enjoyed the most was when Austin forced me to go to the ring! He made me get down on my knees. He made me beg... he made me cry. He made me urinate myself!"
(huge pop)
-- Vince McMahon, finding no sympathy from the crowd


"Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!"
"What are they saying, JR?"
-- the crowd to Vince, and a comment from Lawler

Al Snow and Mankind host. Show comprised mostly of footage from the last two years recapping major storylines and outstanding matches. Footage of: Austin/McMahon feud. "Chokeslam to Hell" match: the Undertaker vs. the Big Show. Hell in a Cell match: the Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels (Badd Blood '97). Hell in a Cell match: Mankind vs. the Undertaker (King of the Ring '98). First-ever Inferno match: Kane vs. the Undertaker (Unforgiven '98). Rock's "This Is Your Life" birthday party (RAW Sept. 27, 1999). Clips on the Rock. Schwarzenegger visits SmackDown. Clips on D-X. G-TV's greatest moments. Ladder match: Edge and Christian vs. the Hardy Boyz (No Mercy '99). IC championship good housekeeping match: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett. Birth of Mr. Socko. WWF's more risque moments. Austin flattening the Rock's car.

"Speaking of chemistry, let's take a look at two other cats who definitely had it. First off, there's the caring, the giving, the physically-imposing Mr. McMahon..."
"You are such a brown-noser!"
"Damn right."
-- Mankind and Al Snow


"This man NEEDS no introduction!"
-- J.R. on Austin


"Do you want to see Stone Cold Steve Austin as the WWF champion; yes or no?"
"It's not just a no, it's a OH HEEEEELLLL NO!"
-- unidentified announcer (sounds like Michael Cole) and McMahon


"The old Stone Cold Steve Austin would probably tell you to take this camera and stick it up your ass. The new Stone Cold wants you to take this camera and get the film developed, because this is the ABSOLUTE LAST TIME you will ever see Stone Cold Steve Austin wearing a ridiculous suit like THIS son of a bitch!"
-- Austin to Vince McMahon


"Oh, I'll take it from here, nurse..."
(Vince, in the hospital bed, recognizes the voice and has a two-second period of panic)
-- Austin (dressed as a surgeon) attacking Vince in the hospital


"If you want Vince's eyes to pop out of the front of his head, gimmie a hell yeah!"
"No!"
"HELL YEAH!"
-- Austin, Lawler, and the crowd as Austin beats up Vince in the ring


"McMahon 3:16 says I just pissed my pants!"
-- Austin


"I HATE AUSTIN!"
"Yeah baby!"
-- Vince and Shane as Vince works out and trains in preparation for his match against Austin


"You gotta eat lightning and crap thunder!"
-- Shane's training advice to his dad


"Catch that chicken! Catch it! After that chicken!"
-- Shane to Vince, in the midst a rather unusual training session


"It is Vince McMahon's saddest day! The Rattlesnake is the WWF champion, by God!"
-- J.R. as Austin captures gold at Wrestlemania


"Undertaker, it's gonna be you and me! I'm gonna grab you by the neck, lift you in the air, and I will CHOKE... SLAM... YOU... TO... HELL!"
-- the Big Show


(Big Show snags Undertaker by the throat and lifts him up for the promised chokeslam)
LAWLER (panicked): "He said he was gonna do it; he's doing it--"
J.R.: "The chokeslam!"
(Big Show slams the Undertaker straight through the ringmat)
J.R.: "OH... MY... GOD!! Right through the ring! The Big Show chokeslammed the Undertaker... ALL THE WAY TO HELL!"
LAWLER: "What?!"
J.R.: "All the way through the ring! The ring has been destroyed by the DAMNEDEST chokeslam I've ever seen!"


(Mankind and Al Snow are in a small room, backstage at an arena. Mankind is laying on his stomach on something akin to a padded table, reading aloud. Al is sitting in a chair next to him, while Head looks on from a short distance. Mankind looks like he's in the examining room of a proctologist.)
MANKIND (reading aloud from his book): "The blow to my face would result in one-and-a-half teeth being knocked out, a dislocated jaw, and a hole beneath my lip that I could stick my tongue through." (looks over) "Al, I'm talking about the results of the most devastating type of match in WWF history."
AL SNOW: "Yes."
MANKIND: "The Hell in a Cell."
AL SNOW: "I know. And I've been involved in some pretty devastating matches myself."
MANKIND (laughs): "Yeah, devastating for the fans to watch."
AL SNOW (laughs sarcastically): "Very funny. Let me ask you a question..."
MANKIND: "Sure, Al."
(Mankind is laying on a pad which connects via wires to an electronic board next to Al.)
AL SNOW: "...What happens when I turn this little knob?"
(an electronic zapping noise can he heard)
MANKIND (yelping): "Ow! It hurts, Al; that's not funny!"
(Al laughs wickedly)
MANKIND (as Al continues goofing with the zapper knob): "I'll tell you what else-- a Hell in a Cell match isn't funny, either..."


"Oh, this is bad... this is REALLY bad..."
-- J.R. as a bloody Shawn Michaels staggers drunkenly in his cell match with Undertaker


"WILL SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH?!"
-- J.R. during the Mankind/Undertaker Hell in a Cell


"The most ominous structure ever erected here in the World Wrestling Federation... once you get in there, there is nowhere to go, nowhere to run when that door is shut and padlocked."
-- J.R. on the cell used in Hell in a Cell matches


"Wait a minute... do you think he's daring the Undertaker to start this match up THERE?"
-- Lawler as Mankind waits for the Undertaker atop the cell, KOTR '98


"Oh my God... we need doctors out here!"
-- J.R. as Mankind is thrown off the top of the cell... note that J.R.'s "Good God; they killed him!" comment is absent


"How in the hell is he standing?"
-- J.R. as Mankind pushes paramedics away and heads back for the cage


"Good God... good God..."
"That's it; he's dead."
-- J.R. and Lawler as the Undertaker throws Mankind through the top of the cell to the ring below


"What is that?"
"...thumbtacks...?"
"Uh-uh."
-- Lawler and J.R. in terrified denial as Mankind spreads thumbtacks across the ringmat


"I'll tell you what, folks... in twenty-five years, I have never witnessed anything that even closely resembles what we have just witnessed."
-- J.R.


"The rules for this match, ladies and gentlemen... the first person to set his opponent on FIRE will win this match."
-- J.R. leading into the first-ever inferno match, pitting Kane against the Undertaker at Unforgiven '98


"Kane is on fire! He's BURNING!"
"AAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!"
-- J.R. and Lawler, Unforgiven '98 inferno match


"This is big, Rock... this is your life!"
-- Mankind to Rock, as balloons and confetti fall


"Take a little walk down Know Your Role Boulevard, hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and then proceed to check your Aunt Jemima, no-pancake-havin' ass di-rect-ly into the Smackdown Hotel!"
-- the Rock to his home ec teacher


"The Rock would like to take that whistle you got, shine it up real nice, turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!"
-- the Rock to his old high school football coach


"And now, in front of all the Rock's fans, you want to serve the Rock a great big piece of that poontang pie?"
-- the Rock to his high school sweetheart; the crowd pops huge and Lawler nearly kills himself laughing


"The Rock has just one thing to say to you... poontang your ass on out of here!"
-- the Rock to his old girlfriend


"Hey, you seem to have something on your nose... no, it's something brown! From being stuck up the Rock's butt!"
"Hey Al..." (grabs a package of buns) "Know your rolls, and shut your mouth!"
-- Al Snow and Mankind, invading a closed concession stand


"How 'bout a cup of beer, big guy?"
"If you're going to make me watch another one of your matches, I think I need all the alcohol I can get."
-- Mankind and Al Snow


"How many championship belts have YOU had here?"
"I've had two."
"Which ONES?"
"Hardcore belt and the tag team belt."
"And who did you hold the tag team belt with?"
"...you."
"EX-actly! But how many times have you held onto THE WWF championship?"
"None."
"How many?"
"None."
"How many?"
"NONE!"
-- Mankind and Al Snow


THE ROCK: "To be the man... WHOOOO... you gotta beat the man..."
(Kevin Kelly flicks his eyebrows as the Rock steps away from the microphone in contemplation and the crowd pops huge)
THE ROCK: "...that's not it."


"I am the best there is, the best there wa-- no, that's not it either."
-- the Rock on the ramp, with a chuckling Triple H at his side


"This is it-- ooooohh yeeeah, dig it!"
--the Rock, with appropriate Randy Savage grunts added (MAN, he's good at imitations)


"The Rock says, know your role, and SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
-- the Rock


"One... two... it doesn't MATTER if the Rock counts to three!"
-- the Rock (as guest referee) to the British Bulldog


"Big Show, you come on down!" (lifts his hands in the air and makes retarded-sounding screams in imitation of the Big Show) "Undertaker..." (takes his sunglasses off and tosses them aside) "You come on down!" (rolls his eyes up in his head and finishes his imitation of the Undertaked by moaning the following:) "DIE DIE DIE!"
-- the Rock


"Oh, dear God... my name's Billy! And I just won King of the Ring! But there's one problem-- everbody still thinks that I absolutely SUCK!"
-- the Rock (imitating Billy Gunn)


"Ladies and gentlemen... ARNOLD SCHWARZENNNAAAAHHHH!"
-- Vince McMahon introducing Schwarzenegger to the ring


"Let's talk about the most devastating group of WWF superstars ever assembled!"
"I know, I know... Joey, Rodney, and Petey!"
"No, those guys are a bunch of possies! No, I want to talk about a force that strikes fear into the heart of man..."
"Steve Blackman's promos?"
"I said a group, Al; Steve Blackman's only done two promos; that makes that a pair."
"Well, and speaking of a pear... that's kind of what the shape of your body's in."
"Shut up, Al, and hold onto my best-selling book that I wrote myself. Let me spell it out for you-- does this make any sense to you?"
(tries to crotch-chop)
"What the hell's wrong with you?"
-- Mankind and Al Snow


"Wait for it; wait for it..."
-- Road Dogg (I think) to the crowd, who is very anxious to sing along with D-X


"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages..."
-- "Badd Ass" Billy Gunn, reading off cue cards held up by the Road Dogg


"My bazooka is locked, cocked, and ready to unload!"
-- Triple H


"Keep off my grass, but don't be afraid to stop by and whack the weed..."
-- Triple H


"Why dontcha talk to THIS right here?"
-- X-Pac crotch-chopping


"The New Age Outlaws always like to kick that shiznit dog-gy-style!"
"What IS shiznit?"
--the Road Dogg and Lawler


"Saw the match, buy the shirt!"
-- Triple H in a backstage interview


"If we can make it here... there; wherever..."
-- the Road Dogg attempting to lead D-X in song as they arrive in NYC


"Road Dogg, Billy, X-Pac, come back up here!"
-- Triple H yelling down into an open manhole


"HEY HEY HEY!"
-- unknown D-X member in "Fat Albert" imitation during the infamous D-X spoof of the Nation


"That's three words; I'm sorry..."
-- the Road Dogg backstage in an interview


"These guys put the "suck" in success, didn't they?"
-- Lawler


"The most controversial group in WWF history was not infallible. Jealousy, greed, and in-fighting would eventually take its toll on D-X. But D-X found that strength in numbers was the formula for ultimate success in the World Wrestling Federation."
-- Michael Cole in the first-ever attempt at an on-screen explanation for the 1999 reunion of D-X


"D-X is back together! Dammit dammit dammit!"
-- J.R.


"Break the wall down..."
-- Jericho's theme on his debut, and one of the biggest-ass pops I've ever heard


"Welcome to... RAW... is... JERICHO!"
-- Chris Jericho


"I am Chris Jericho, your new hero! And I am the new millenium for the World Wrestling Federation!"
-- Chris Jericho


"Oh my goodness; it's a slobberknocker!"
-- Mankind at the announcers' table (note that both Head and a copy of Mick's biography are wearing headsets)


"And they call you the Big Show?"
-- Val Venis standing next to the Big Show at the urinals (courtesy G-TV)


"It, like... is an HONOR for you to sit there and shave my ass!"
-- Badd Ass Billy Gunn to Janet the makeup lady (courtesy G-TV)


"No, I didn't! Of course not!"
-- Al Snow to Head as he picks his nose, eats it, and denies it (courtesy G-TV)


"I think I see something..."
"You ain't kidding me you see something! You see a lot of ass!"
"No, I believe I see a zit..."
"You see a WHAT?!"
-- Janet the makeup lady and Mr. Ass


"Hey, Al... you're not G-TV, are you?"
"Oh, yeah, right. Like *I'M* going to be responsible for filiming myself mining copper. Sure."
-- Mankind and Al Snow


"Have you EVER?!"
"I have NEVER!"
-- Lawler and J.R. in shock during the ladder match, No Mercy '99


"There should be body parts laying everywhere, J.R..."
"And there may be before it's over!"
-- Lawler and J.R., ladder match


"Chyna, the first woman to become Intercontinental champion in WWF history!"
-- J.R.


"I brought you some female entertainment, and I think you know what I mean. She does a trick with a dog that you won't believe... Vince McMahon, say hello to Yurprl!"
-- Mankind introducing a hospitalized Vince to his clown buddy


"Mr. Socko knows you've been feeling mighty bad, so he's gonna give your boo-boo a big kiss!"
"He's gonna what? No, no-- Mick--" (screams in pain) "Please, please leave. Leave."
(Mankind blows on a noisemaker)
"DAMMIT leave."
-- Mankind and Vince


"Thanks for the gratuitious plug, Al, because at the WWF, we usually don't do that type of thing."
"Hey, don't get an attitude!"
"Speaking of attitudes, that is one fine WWF attitude shirt you're wearing right now!"
-- Mankind and Al Snow blatantly plugging all sorts of WWF merchandise


"You never know WHAT the hell you're going to see in the WWF!"
-- J.R.


"You ever been with a ho? You DO know what a ho is, don't you?"
-- the Godfather (footage of hos dogpiling the ref)


"This leg will be known as Christmas, and this leg will be known as New Year's! So ladies, why don't you all come visit the Big Valbowski between the holidays?"
-- Val Venis


"Puppies puppies puppies!"
-- Lawler


"The match continues until one of these ladies has been stripped to her bra and panties..."
"We're gonna be the winner, no matter what!"
-- J.R. and Lawler


"I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave!"
-- Lawler as a near-naked lady (I think Ivory) races up the ramp in a fury


"I am not going to believe this..."
-- J.R.


"Pete Rose just got tombstoned!"
-- J.R. as Kane lays it on Pete Rose


"Are you the real Santa, or are you just a fat piece of trash? I got a little Christmas present for you myself!"
-- Austin beating up Santa Claus in the ring


"Good God... and he's single, fellas!"
-- J.R. as Pat Patterson strips his shirt off


"The Rock is gonna bury this piece of trash you call a belt, and let it rot, just like your damn career!"
-- a heel Rock to Austin, referring to the smoking skull belt

King of the Ring 1998, Hell in a Cell match: Mankind vs. the Undertaker

"He was born Mick Foley, on Long Island, New York. He says when he gets inside the steel, he will feel at home!"
-- J.R. as Mankind approaches the cell


"Look at this... this guy feels no pain, or if he feels pain, he enjoys it!"
-- Lawler as Mankind begins to ascend to the top of the cage


"Of all the things he's lost, I think he misses his mind the most."
-- Lawler on Mankind


"A cage match is not something I've been very good at over the years... Undertaker had a broken bone in his foot. The only other Hell in a Cell match on record in history was the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, where they put on maybe the match of the year in 1997. So I really thought, heading into it, that the possibility of stinking up the place was kind of high."
-- Mankind on the match


"Apparently the Hell in a Cell match is officially underway..."
-- J.R. as Mankind attacks the Undertaker atop the cell with a chair


"Good God almighty! Good God almighty! They killed him!"
-- J.R. as the Undertaker throws Mankind through the Spanish announcers' table from the top of the cell (I'm still wondering who "they" is)


"Us, as wrestlers... we watch the show and we see things that the regular people don't see, that... you wonder if the guy's hurt or not. And that was definitely the one thing I, you know... I gasped, because I wondered if he was ever going to get up or not."
-- the Big Boss Man on Mankind's fall


"I was just scared. I mean, this is sports entertainment, but that was... wow."
-- D'Lo Brown on Mankind's fall


"When it happened, I don't think I was so much worried because I couldn't believe that I had just seen it. And then, when they replayed it on the little monitor back there... I really didn't even watch it again. I could kind of watch it out of the corner of my eye, but it... it was devastating."
-- Steve Austin on Mankind's fall


"I wasn't in THAT much pain when I hit. I was jarred, I was, y'know, not comfortable, but I felt in my heart that I could continue the match."
-- Mankind on his fall


"How in the HELL is he standing?"
-- J.R. as Mankind insists on continuing the match


"I could visualize the crowd. I just thought, "This is a great response!" I figured at that moment everyone thought the match was over, and we proved them wrong. The adrenaline I had was unbelievable as the crowd realized I was climbing one side, and the Undertaker was climbing the other."
-- Mankind on his decision to continue


"When he started climbing back up, just... oh, total goosebumps taking me over!"
-- Jeff Hardy on the match


"I could barely even climb up the cage when I was healthy to START the match!"
-- Mankind on his second scaling of the cage


"That's it; he's dead."
-- Lawler after Mankind fell through the top of the cage


"When he fell through the cage, the top of the cage into the ring... I didn't think he was going to get up. I thought it broke his hips, or broke his back. He was just a cooked noodle."
-- Road Dogg on Mankind's second fall


"I'd never seen anyone fall that far and land so hard in my entire life, and to top it off the chair fell on top of him and knocked his teeth out."
-- D'Lo Brown on Mankind's second fall


"The poor son of a-- he's broken in half!"
-- J.R.


"It is a testament to his want and need to entertain in his crazy-ass way, and that's just him."
-- the Rock on Mankind


"I was not actually hurting because I was unconscious."
-- Mankind on the second fall


"They said I was smiling. What I was actually trying to do was stick my tongue through the hole underneath my lip. I was trying to stick that tongue out; it actually was protruding a little bit, but you couldn't actually see it because of all the blood in my beard."
-- Mankind on his facial expressions after the second fall


"Undertaker and Mankind are in hell. Hell is in Pittsburgh tonight!" -- J.R. as the match continues


"WHAT is that?"
"...Thumbtacks."
"Uh-uh!"
"This is... off the page."
-- Lawler and J.R. as Mankind pours a sackful of thumbtacks onto the mat


"Mercifully, this is over."
-- Lawler as the Undertaker gets the pinfall


"There were some close calls in there for every one of the boys who was standing; it was a "curtain sellout," as they call it in the back. Everybody felt every bump he took and I guarantee you, he's still feeling some of them today."
-- Road Dogg on the match and Mankind


"Yeah, I would do it again! I would do it again with Mankind."
-- the Undertaker on the match


"I honestly am sick of the match, you know? There are other things I have done in my career that didn't involve me being knocked out or sent to the emergency room that I'm very proud of, but no one wants to talk about them. I'm flattered that people like it that much; deep down inside I'm very proud of the match, but I feel like... I've done more than just get knocked out on a pay-per-view."
-- Mankind on the match


"These two men gave you everything in their body! They gave you of their soul here tonight!"
-- J.R.


St. Valentine's Day Massacre 1999, cage match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon

"To go in there with your boss and beat the hell out of him... that's a good time for Stone Cold Steve Austin."
-- Austin on the match


"The chase is on!"
-- Michael Cole as Austin starts chasing Vince around ringside


"His flight was probably a lot nicer than his landing."
-- Mankind on Vince's fall from the top of the cage


"If you watch that real closely, you see the corner of the edge of the table that was driven right up into McMahon's spine..."
"...Which cracked his tailbone, by the way. At that point, also, his head hit the monitor... Vince was out."
-- J.R. and Shane McMahon on Vince's fall from the top of the cage


"Everybody sat with bated breath going, "Is he okay?"
"The whole back room was silent, just watching, just like, "Please get up. Please get up." I knew he wasn't... I knew he was hurt, bad."
-- D'Lo Brown and Shane McMahon on Vince's fall from the top of the cage


"If you want me to finish this can of whoop ass, gimmie a hell yeah!"
-- Austin, just before going to drag Vince off the stretcher and force him to return to the match


"McMahon is flipping off the rattlesnake!"
-- Michael Cole as Vince tells Austin what he thinks of him


"I figured he wanted some more pounding, so I went back in and gave it to him."
-- Austin on Vince's gesture


In-between match reviews...

"In 1999, the hardcore Hollys set the standard for the superheavyweight division. But in the year 2000, we're gonna raise that bar just a little bit higher. We're gonna raise that bar so high, ain't NOBODY gonna touch the hardcore Hollys. And you know where you and I are gonna be tonight at midnight?"
"Where?"
"I'm gonna be in the gym, and your little ass is gonna be right behind me."
"But what about the girls, cousin?"
"Forget the girls! Bring a magazine; you can go to the bathroom after we're finished."
-- Hardcore and Crash Holly on their plans for the New Year


St. Valentine's Day Massacre '99, Last Man Standing match: the Rock vs. Mankind for the WWF championship.

"I had been dropping elbows for fifteen years and I thought I was good at it, but I thought, maybe if I just add that little run, and then stop and drop the elbow, it would be even more magical, even more devastating."
-- Mankind on his version of the People's Elbow


"It's still the worst-looking move I've ever seen, but it's like a guilty pleasure. I had to try it once."
-- Mankind on the People's Elbow


"I think this match, more than any other, really established who the Rock was as a character."
-- Michael Cole


"Know you role, Mi-- GET YOUR CANDY ASS out of the Rock's chair! The Rock is here now to add a little bit of class to the show!"
-- the Rock, joining commentary while Mankind recovers from a particularly nasty blow


"Look at the Rock's competition! Look at him! It looks like a big monkey came down here, took a CRAP, and out came Mankind!"
-- the Rock, continuing to call his own match


"It got a fantastic response; a great reaction."
-- the Rock, reflecting later on his match


"Memphis, Tennessee... this is the Rock's gift to you!"
-- the Rock, just before breaking into "SmackDown Hotel"


"I thought he was a little off-key."
-- Mankind on the Rock's performance


"He really shouldn't give up his day job."
-- Edge on the Rock's performance


"Rock feels so lone-- AGGHHRK!"
-- the Rock who, after bending low to serenade the prone Mankind, got a mouthful of mandible claw


In between match reviews...

"The entire world wants to know exactly what the Rock feels about the new millennium; EXACTLY what the Great One feels about the new millennium. Well, the Rock feels like this. The Rock says, he guaran-damn-tees to continue to entertain the millions... and millions... and... millions of Rock's fans. The Rock says, that without a shadow of a doubt, he is the absolute BEST this industry has to offer. The Rock has raised the bar in sports entertainment, to a plateau very few, IF any, probably NONE... have the courage, the aptitude, or, quite frankly, the talent to reach. The Rock says this-- every other jabroni in the WWF, EVERY OTHER JABRONI walking God's green earth is simply a passenger on the Rock's vessel. The Rock's vessel, riding the waves of the people's ocean! The Rock says this-- in 1999, going into 2000, going into the next millennium. The Rock says, this is the year of the Rock! The millennium of the Brahma Bull! The Rock says without a shadow of a doubt, he will go down in the history books as being THE MOST electrifying man in sports entertainment. And, of course, without a shadow of a doubt, THE BEST damn WWF champion there ever was. If you smell... what the Rock... is cookin'."
-- The Rock (strange to hear him talking with no crowd going nuts in the background)


WrestleMania XV: X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon for the WWF European championship.

"WrestleMania's the granddaddy of them all, and to actually compete in it... I never thought, going to the first WrestleMania back in 1985, that fifteen years later I'd be competing in WrestleMania 15."
-- Shane McMahon


"WrestleMania is the biggest show of the year, and... you have a match that's kind of a prominent match on the show, and it's with somebody that's never had a match before. So the pressure's on you to come through. You don't know... how is Shane going to be out there?"
-- X-Pac


"I'm thinking to myself, "I wonder if he'd do that with the Rock."
-- X-Pac when Shane McMahon decided to give him the People's Elbow during their match


"We kept hitting each other harder and harder and harder. I kept bringing it to him, and he was like, "Bring it, you son of a bitch!"... nailing him with it, and he just kept getting up and getting up; I was like, damn! So he nailed me; all of a sudden I dropped the belt, and he lit my ass UP with that thing!"
-- Shane McMahon


"People dream about going to WrestleMania their entire lives... some people never make it. I had the privilege of competing in THE show... that was probably one of the best moments of my life."
-- Shane McMahon


In between match reviews...

"The end of the millennium? You know what it means to ME? I think the world's going to come to an end, and I think we're all gonna die! I mean, alpha omega? Question answer? Walrus and eggman, coo-coo-ca-choo [??]; that whole thing. We've only got a few minutes left, and my last few minutes... I think I'm going to go get a little Head." (starts poking around) "Where the hell are ya? Oh, there you are! Come here." (seizes Head by the hair and takes her on camera with a grin) "Thank you!"
-- Al Snow


Review of the year's Austin/McMahon wars

"Firing up the zamboni was a lot of fun..."
-- Austin


"I remember one of the guys in the back that worked in the building looked at him like he was crazy, because of the big light fixtures that they use for interviews actually got hooked onto the zamboni, and he dragged it all the way out of the building and broke it into a million pieces. It was really funny, just to see him overtly run over equipment like that. That's Steve Austin."
-- Matt Hardy


"It wasn't necessarily the fastest, most powerful thing I've ever driven to the ring, but it had a flat hood so I could run off the edge of it and hit McMahon with a clothesline in the ring."
-- Austin


"I remember the beer truck."
"Probably the beer truck was my favorite."
-- Road Dogg and Mankind, reminiscing on some of Austin's greatest moments


"That was fun; it almost knocked down part of the RAW set."
-- Austin on driving the beer truck into the arena


"It was a big Three Stooges, Keystone Cops scene with Vince slipping and sliding in the beer..."
-- Road Dogg


"While I had my finger on the nozzle, I was going to give myself a drink... if I still had my tonsils, it probably would have washed them down my throat!"
-- Austin


"THAT'S THE ROCK'S CAR!!"
-- the Rock in-ring, watching on the TitanTron as Austin uses a monster truck to flatten the Rock's car behind the arena


No Mercy 1999, Tag Team ladder match: Edge/Christian vs. the Hardy Boyz

"You know, a lot of the guys were saying, "Be careful." They knew we were all going to take chances. And..." (glares at his brother) "...JEFF HARDY, especially, takes chances when he's in the ring. So, you know, they worried he was going to kill himself, as well as the rest of us. But I remember Steve Austin came by... Stone Cold looked at us and said, "Hardys, be careful out there." We said, "Well, we'll be as careful as we can be." He said, "I know what you mean."
-- Matt Hardy on the match "We were very nervous, because there was so much that could go wrong, and there was a lot of pressure on us."
-- Matt Hardy


"I think any time that a match is structured where you have something as inanimate and unpredictable as ladders, you have more concern about the participants."
-- J.R.


"Me personally, I mean... I love wrestling more than I love life, so I was willing to put everything on the line for this match. We're willing to do that every time we come out to the ring, because when we go out there, we love giving the fans everything we have in our bodies."
-- Matt Hardy


"As far as these four guys were concerned, this was the biggest night of their careers."
-- J.R.


"When you climb up the ladders, when you're climbing, the ring is moving underneath you, so they're really unstable."
"When you get up there, it's a lot higher than you think. When you're sitting down looking at it, you think, "Oh, well, that's not too bad." Then when you get up there and you add the actual six feet that you have with the height of your body and you set your eyes down and you say, wow, that's a long ways."
-- Christian and Matt Hardy


"The camera over top of the ladder, to me, was one of the greatest parts of that match, because it really showed just how far and how long it is until you hit."
-- Edge


"When you add that height, a lot of the moves are so much harder to control, too, because it's so much different than doing it just on the mat."
-- Jeff Hardy


"My favorite was the see-saw spot, because that was my idea, and right before I was fixing to jump, I was SO thrilled to hear the fans' reaction."
-- Jeff Hardy


"My elbows were pretty banged up; I had a hole in one elbow from the see-saw. I tried to get my arm up but it actually put me down; it almost knocked me out."
-- Christian


"The whole deal with getting through that ladder match was just sucking it up and being a man."
-- Matt Hardy


MATT HARDY: "The finish was basically... we were all sort of disoriented; we were setting the ladders up to climb again. We get up to the top; I whack Edge, boom boom boom; he was beating me up..."
EDGE: "I pie-faced him off; he hit the ropes and hit the ladder that Christian and Jeff were on, which tottered over--"
JEFF HARDY: "So as ours fell..."
MATT HARDY: "He stepped onto the ladder where I had been previously."
EDGE: "Pushed me off, and Jeff grabbed the money, the sack of change, and fell."
JEFF HARDY: "It wouldn't come out at first, so what better way to get the bag out than just let all your weight go?"
MATT HARDY: "He jerked it and sacrificed his body."
JEFF HARDY: "Totally got the wind knocked out of me."


"After the match was done and Matt and Jeff were gone, we collected ourselves; we stood up... and they gave us a standing ovation. I thought, wow, that's a really cool feeling; that's a really cool thing."
-- Edge


"We went back, and everyone was watching back at the monitors. They all clapped for us and gave us a standing ovation; it was SO cool."
-- Matt Hardy


"I remember, specifically, Mick Foley coming up, and Mick being one of the top guys, to me this was a pretty special thing... he came up and said, "Guys, you just cemented your spot." And I'll always remember that because of where Mick was; he didn't need to say that, and he did."
-- Edge


"I can sum of this match in one word. Heart."
-- Terri


The Millennium surprise...

"Welcome to... 2000 is Jericho! And I know a lot of people are worried about the millennium bug, but when it's all said and done, no one is going to remember Y2K, because all they're going to be talking about is Y2J!"
-- Chris Jericho, officially the first WWF personality to appear on television in 2000

Remember that time when DX trashed The Nation Of Domination's dressing room and blamed it on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Farooq was going on this massive tirade, talking about how certain people should stay on "their side of the tracks." I forgot what Austin said totally, but the last line was awesome,

"Because it ain't a white thing, it ain't a black thing, it's just A ME KICKING YOUR ASS THING!!!"

But I found this one particular badass quote while researching "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson. After reading this, I truly see how much of a legend he is in the business and how his reputation as one of the best is well founded. This was a week after the infamous nWo attack in the parking lot, injurying Buff Bagwell, Arn Anderson, and Rey Mysterio, in which the Four Horsemen member so beautifully responded with this soliloqy:

"Intense pain is a wonderful thing, Gene Okerlund. Your life flashes before your eyes, things that are the most important to you become crystal clear. You start to begin to learn the meaning of life. Last week when they stuffed me in that ambulance and I looked across and I saw Flair, Sting, Woman, Bagwell and myself, I realized that we were people brought together not by philosophy, but by necessity. And I started to think, new world order, new world order, where have I heard that?
And I remembered in the Good Book it says, 'When the new world order is put into place it signals the beginning of the end of time.' Well, WCW is our world, it's where we live and breathe. And if you want to destroy it, Hogan and The Outsiders, you've already made a mistake that jumps off the page. If you're gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job. Because there's one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we're the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue."

The Gospel according Arn. AMEN!!!! :D

Remember that time when DX trashed The Nation Of Domination's dressing room and blamed it on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Farooq was going on this massive tirade, talking about how certain people should stay on "their side of the tracks." I forgot what Austin said totally, but the last line was awesome,

"Because it ain't a white thing, it ain't a black thing, it's just A ME KICKING YOUR ASS THING!!!"

But I found this one particular badass quote while researching "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson. After reading this, I truly see how much of a legend he is in the business and how his reputation as one of the best is well founded. This was a week after the infamous nWo attack in the parking lot, injurying Buff Bagwell, Arn Anderson, and Rey Mysterio, in which the Four Horsemen member so beautifully responded with this soliloqy:

"Intense pain is a wonderful thing, Gene Okerlund. Your life flashes before your eyes, things that are the most important to you become crystal clear. You start to begin to learn the meaning of life. Last week when they stuffed me in that ambulance and I looked across and I saw Flair, Sting, Woman, Bagwell and myself, I realized that we were people brought together not by philosophy, but by necessity. And I started to think, new world order, new world order, where have I heard that?
And I remembered in the Good Book it says, 'When the new world order is put into place it signals the beginning of the end of time.' Well, WCW is our world, it's where we live and breathe. And if you want to destroy it, Hogan and The Outsiders, you've already made a mistake that jumps off the page. If you're gonna take a baseball bat to a Horseman, finish the job. Because there's one rule of gang fighting. See, we are the original gang and we're the most vicious in all of professional wrestling history. They send one of yours to the hospital, you send two of theirs to the morgue."

The Gospel according Arn. AMEN!!!! :D



Its a shame that Arn's career would end In a funny wrestling angle where Kevin Nash , Syxx , Scott Hall and someone else all acted like the Horsemen.


Kevin Nash as Arn Anderson: I've had a long career and Its always came down to this. I realized one day when I was at my local bar , when I couldn't pick my can of beer , I know It was over.

Curt Henning your gonna join the elite. The best In the business. Your not gonna get my dog spot , not my liver spot....my spot. Yeahhh Double A's spot. ( Nash belches as fans erupt In laughter).

"Just when you think you know the answer....I change the question!"

Rowdy Roddy Piper

More recently - "I'm here to connect your mouth to your brain because it seems you're talking out of your ass!" ~Jake the Snake

Ric Flair - "To Be The Man...You gotta Beat The Man WHooooo!"

Oh, and though I'm not really into wrestling anymore, Arn Anderson still holds a place in my heart.

One of the baddest badasses in wrestling ever.

If I was a wrestler, he's someone I would want to model myself after.

"Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!"

Do You Smell?

What

The Rock

Is Cooking!

The DX intro was great. I wish I could repeat it verbatim: "Ladies and gentlemen, chldren of all ages..."

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages Degeneration else proudly brings to you it's WWF Tag Team Champions of the World: The Road Dogg Jesse James, The Bad Ass Billy Gunn. The New Age Outlaws.

And if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya: suck it.

I can't find the exact quote, but it was from Rock to jericho when jericho first arrived, and was something to the effect of
"You think you can come her on the rocks show, and challenge the rock, when last month you were in alabama fighting some jabroni named......juventude?"
Excellent both for mentioning him, and for the delivery of the word.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages Degeneration else proudly brings to you it's WWF Tag Team Champions of the World: The Road Dogg Jesse James, The Bad Ass Billy Gunn. The New Age Outlaws.

And if you're not down with that, I got two words for ya: suck it.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

And it was the crowd reaction more than anything that made it entertaining...

ICHI!

NEE!

SAN! AND DDDAAAAAAA!!!

-Tony Inoki

Just

Bring

It!

I hear that after Nash and them all did that, they hadf to physically restrain Arn from going out there and kicking their ass. He DID NOT approve of that skit. They didnt even talk to him about it.

That promo he did where he gave up his spot on the Horsemen was supposed to be mostly legit. Lots of emmotion.

And thnk about that promo that Arn did about the New World Order destroying the world, or WCW.....spooky aint it?

I liked Vince's "Ruthless Aggression" stuff.

"Iran number one, America hack poo!"-Iron Sheik

Not to be unpatriotic or anything, it just sounded cool. To think I've only heard it said once.

tl/dr

"I'm billingual too. I'm bi a lot of things.



Wait, no I'm not."


-HHH, in the DX days, discussing Chyna's abiliity to speak Spanish.

"They say these geeks come a dime a dozen. I want to get the guy who's been supplyin' the dime"--Fred Blassie

tl/dr

:gives:

And really... Donald Trump should be paying royalties to Vince.

Nobody delivers a "YOU'RE FIRED!" like Vinnie Mac.

I believe both Vinnie and the Trump tried to even copyright the phrase at one time.

time to post pics of chyna's clit

I believe both Vinnie and the Trump tried to even copyright the phrase at one time.
The Trump succeeded.

Let me tell ya somethin' Mean Gene, I've been to the top of the mountain, I've been to the valleys, and everywhere in between, and Hulkamania is the strongest force in the universe dude, as long as all my little Hulkamaniacs do the Demandments, the vitamins, the exercises, the prayers. So whatchya gonna do, when the biggest arms in the world, the 24" pythons and the power of Hulkamania run wild on you?

The Trump succeeded.

Well that sucks, since Vince delivers it better... and he could kick Trump's butt seven ways to Sunday.

Well that sucks, since Vince delivers it better... and he could kick Trump's butt seven ways to Sunday.
Vince could do it with multiple Rs. "YOU'RRRRRRRRE FIRRRRRRRED!" :D

I hear that after Nash and them all did that, they hadf to physically restrain Arn from going out there and kicking their ass. He DID NOT approve of that skit. They didnt even talk to him about it.

Should have let him go. I remember I physically couldn't stand watching that segment, and I was SOOOO hoping for the Horsemen to come out and shove it all down the nWo's throats. Too low, and too disrespectful, even for heels like the nWo.

The Rock's response when Jericho entered the WWF was absolutely
incredible, and it showed that the Rock wasn't going to let some WCW assclown take his light. Classic moment of...

"What's your name?"
"What, I already told you my name, it's Y2-"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!!"

The Rock: That's hot?! What sorta catchphrase is that? My daughter can come up with something better and she can't even talk yet. But let The Rock help you come up with something better......What about '$2 for Weekdays and $1 on weekends'?

Sorry, I made that one up.

Here's one of my favourites

'Happy Birthday Dear Steph
You're a hoe with big breasts
So take the night off from hooking
If you smell what The Rock is cooking'

"If the Gods could build a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up that ladder and drop an elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack

"You call the emergency room, you tell them to be ready for the Franchise. I don't want to wait in line behind some peice of crap homeless person, or some welfare recepient. I'm not homeless. I'm not a welfare recipient. I get paid damn well for what i do."
-Shane Douglas in ECW bleeding like a pig

and EVERYTHING JBL says.
"It's not my fault your daddy drinks because your mama is a piece of trash."
or
"I can only have so many maids, I can only have so many gardeners."
or
"People like you save up, to pay to see people like me. People like me, pay to see no one."

"Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story." Jim Ross
"I keep telling you people not to smoke around me becuse it messes up my hair. Besides somking is bad for your health anyway." Jimmy Garvin
"Stan Lane, you been chasing girls for so long that you became one." Arn Anderson
"I hear Ric Flair braggin how the Horsemen never sleeps. Your a fastfood place. I rather eat in a fine restarunt." Dick Mardock

Booker T when he was challenging the rock for a match at Summerslam 2001
-------------
The Rock: "Who - in the blue hell - are you?"
Booker T: "Who am I? Who am I? I'm the WCW Champion, sucka!"
The Rock: "Just so The Rock understands this, you're the WCW Champion Sucker? What's more important, The Rock doesn't believe he caught your name."
Booker T: "What's my name? Hell, my name is Booker-"
The Rock: "It doesn't matter what your name is!"

The Rock promo to Shane
-------------
The Rock: "The Rock doesn't care about the history of the WCW Title? Well The Rock knows damn well the history of the WCW Title. The Rock knows that the title traces back to Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, and WHOOOOOOOO Ric Flair!"

The Rock: "The Rock also knows damn well, what in recent years the WCW Title has come to...Diamond Dallas Page? Booker T? The guy from Scream 2, the dog from Married with Children, the maid from the Jeffersons! Shane McMahon, this title is just like your sister, everybody gets a turn!"

Chris Jericho and the Rock insulting Booker.T , Rhyno and Stephanie in 2001
--------------------
Chris Jericho: "At SummerSlam I'm going to take care of that smelly, greasy, nasty animal...and I'm going get you too Rhyno."

Chris Jericho: "I hear there's an opening on the new A-Team Reunion special...maybe you should check that out Mr. T!"

The Rock: "The Rock could just imagine what you were like in High School! The oldest 27 year old senior the world has ever seen! Standing outside your house with your momma, and that short little yellow bus pulling up in front - beep beep, beep beep, beep beep! You just walk in on the bus, go into class, get inside the classroom, teacher up on the blackboard 'Ok class, what is 2 + 2? Do you know Booker?' 'Oh yeah I know the answer to that, 2 + 2? Thomas Jefferson, sucka!"

The Rock: "Booker T - hair done by Whoopie, Shane McMahon still a pussy!"

Chris Jericho: "You've got a man beast, and a hoe's beast. I mean we're dealing with the gore, and the whore!"

The Rock: "This is a little rhyming contest between you and The Rock...well The Rock has got one better than that, here's a little rhyme: Booker T and Shane - the punk ass sucka and the silver spoon motha fucka!"
----------
Jim Ross: "The Billion Dollar Princess just became the Dairy Queen!" after Kurt Angle interrupted Austin appreciation night with the alliance with a milktruck.

Rock Promo for Summerslam 1999 as shown on one of his videos :
-------------
"Now onto 'Badd Ass' Billy Gunn. The Rock understands what took place. The night you won King of the Ring, you got down on your knees, put your little hands together and said a prayer, and it sounded like this: 'Oh Dear God, you see, my name's Billy. And I just won King of the Ring. But there's just one problem: everyone still thinks that I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!' And then at that point Billy, your house started to shake, the heavens opened up and God Himself spoke to you and said: 'Bob...' 'But my name's Billy...' 'IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! You are absolutely right. You do suck. But there is one thing an one thing only that you can do. You must go find the man that is simply electrifying. You must go find the Rock.' 'Oh but God, anybody but the Ro..' 'KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH!' And then as fear went through your body, tears went down your cheek and piss rolled down your leg, your house started to shake again, the clouds parted and the heavens opened. And what seemed like millions... of voices said to you in unison, jabronie, 'If ya smelllll what the Rock... is cookin'!"

Edge promo during 2001