Spiritual Crisis

Who are we. What are we. Where did we come from. What’s our purpose in our life. How did we come into being. Do I really need the answers. Do I really deserve them. Am I really prepared to listen to them. Why shouldn’t I let it remain mystery.

Anyways, I’ll let these questions remain unanswered for a while.

Never judge people by their words. I say watch whether they are true to what they say. First step towards not being a hypocrite is admitting that you’re a hypocrite.

I’ve noticed one thing. People are unashamedly hypocritical and manipulative. They say that they are innocent and world is full of crap. They sound righteous in their statements but are unashamedly wicked and sadistic in their actions. They derive pleasure from people’s sorrows and torture people mentally. Then they go around the world bragging about how desired and how wonderful they are. About how innocent and naive they are in the ways of the world.

I hear a lot of crap from people about how ugly I am and how I cannot talk well. About how unsuccessful I am with girls. Well. Anyways. As much unhandsome and repulsive I am but I ask is this is all there is to my life. Is that the whole meaning and purpose of my life?

Ok let me come to the topic bugging me for quite some time. I feel left out. Like an outcast. Left out of this sodomy called life. This goddamned materialistic world. My so-called friends talk a lot about how they respect women. At the same time they ask me to be manipulative in my ways and fake an “ATTITUDE”. Attitude portraying superiority and ego, arrogance and pomposity.

So that they can be attracted towards my enigmatic and elusive persona. Don’t I have better things to do than appearing to be someone who I am not? Shouldn’t I rather devote my energies doing something more constructive and something more long lasting? Something which improves my character and flourishes my intellectual capabilities. Something which will improve my physical competence. Something which will bring about more lasting happiness and more lasting meaning. Something which will help me becomes a more complete person.

Don’t giving a crap about other people’s feelings. Not fucking caring about anyone else but your wants. Your needs. But deep down feeling guilty that we are being untrue to yourself. That something is wrong somewhere. But choke that feeble little goddamned voice called conscience as easily as they their screwed up minds allow them to.

Gaining popularity by disrespecting simple folks who cannot defend or present their views coherently logically. Gaining reputation by making fun of others. Gaining status by bragging about what they did and who they know. By making up lies and hurting people to gain their confidence and gratitude. Gaining by depicting themselves complete in all those aspects others feel incomplete, impotent and insecure about.

Is this justified? Is this right? Should I join the party? Do I want to join? Fuck no! Do I want to have the thoughts I’m having. I think yes. Even if they hurt and torture me mentally. Even if I feel choked. Even if I feel lonely. Friendless. Insane. Crazy. But I guess nothing could be a more thrilling, fulfilling adventure than standing up for what you believe in. Just be sure not to lose the perspective and not to be blinded by your ideals and turn into a fanatic vehemently imposing his viewpoint or living in his own bubble. Always be ready to hear your foes out. Even if its just to get a better understanding of their point of view. Maybe it will give you a point or two which you can keep in mind to improve or which you think is in your favour or which you can attack them by.

Man I don’t see the respect for women. I don’t know all of them are if they are worthy of it or not. I don’t think you should talk crap about them. People spread rumors about them. People fucking only see them as objects for sexual gratification. They talk excitedly about how they manipulated the girls to do whatever they wanted them to do. They couldn’t care less about their feelings. They justify their actions by labeling them as tramps that deserve to be treated that way. I think I ought to ask them about how they would think if the same thing happened to their daughters, sisters and mothers.

I see sick sadistic bastards with a very perverted value system graduating out of the graduation schools. These people can cross any limits to satisfy the cravings of their mind. People see education in a very narrow perspective. Only considering how he fared academically to judge him. Which college he went to. How much percentage. How much Rank. How much CGPA.

There seems to be no notion of right or wrong. Only desires needing to be fulfilled. There is no concept of guilt, innocence or retribution in their spirit. These people seems to me to be walking dead. Numb to all the human feelings. Cold and calculating as some mothafuckin’ androids. Closed to feelings of other people. Living for themselves in the delusion they created for themselves so painstakingly. Man I would hate to hurt someone else for my pleasure.

Not complete yet but I don’t think it’s supposed to be complete. I plan to keep on rambling all my life.

Aman.

P.S.Not edited or checked. Will check tomorrow to add or edit. or make the meaning more clear.

Tyler Durden > All btw. And do reply.

People are Evil, every last one of them.

unfortunately i think selfishness is rewarded and gets people farther than they would worrying about morals and consequences for others

People are Evil, every last one of them.

As frustrated, confused and crazy I feel right now. I dont see my answer in this statement. Guess this is oversimplification. I couldve looked at this statement for some instant gratification but that wouldnt help bro. No offence though. Peace.

unfortunately i think selfishness is rewarded and gets people farther than they would worrying about morals and consequences for others

How do I get immune to the crap I'm subjected to.

How do I stop sulking which seems to have become a second habit to me.

Any more perspecctives?!?

Dont just tl/dr it bros. I wrote that crap myself.

And I need some help/comforting. Advise.

Why do you worry about other people when it seems to bother you so much. Who really gives a fuck, there are worse things happening in the world than some people you know not respecting women or whatever. When you really look at the big picture none of those people matter and your wasting your time. Do something that matters and not something you think matters.

Why do you worry about other people when it seems to bother you so much. Who really gives a fuck, there are worse things happening in the world than some people you know not respecting women or whatever. When you really look at the big picture none of that matters, no ones lives really matter at all so your only holding yourself back.

It matters coz I feel left out. It matters coz I feel friendless. Its not about women only. That was one of the things that came to my mind. I think the problem is much more roooted in our psyche. Should I just stay away from my friends. How do I get the qualities of independence and acceptance. How do I stop the urge to get myself validated.

The big picture includes everything. It includes the soul of a man we've tarnished so badly. We need to make amends.

If you think you’re perfect. If you think there’s nothing wrong with you, then how can you be resurrected. You need to have doubts about your existence. About everything around you first and they should piss you off so badly that you try to find answers or atleast try to find a person who knows the answers. And if you get problems in the way of your search, consider that as a part of your journey which will make you evolve and make you worthy of your destination. Don’t just give up your quest for betterment. You are bound to fail at some tasks. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

i blame everything on capitalism

war communism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://healingiraq.blogspot.com/11.jpg

It matters coz I feel left out. It matters coz I feel friendless. Its not about women only. That was one of the things that came to my mind. I think the problem is much more roooted in our psyche. Should I just stay away from my friends. How do I get the qualities of independence and acceptance. How do I stop the urge to get myself validated.

I can't really relate because I was never one for caring what people think of me so that would be my advice to you, fuck it. They don't think your good enough? So what, the question should be... Who the fuck are they?

You don't need friends. If spending time with people not enjoyable then most likely they are NOT your friends. No matter how long you have known them or how good you think you know them you still have no controll over how they think or act. If you don't like them it's your fault for being around them.


The big picture includes everything. It includes the soul of a man we've tarnished so badly. We need to make amends.


You think you can make amends to God? Just be happy he gives you life. God has made you a path and you are following it as you read this post. You have no choice in your fate.

I can't really relate because I was never one for caring what people think of me so that would be my advice to you, fuck it. They don't think your good enough? So what, the question should be... Who the fuck are they?

You don't need friends. If spending time with people not enjoyable then most likely they are NOT your friends. No matter how long you have known them or how good you think you know them you still have no controll over how they think or act. If you don't like them it's your fault for being around them.





You think you can make amends to God? Just be happy he gives you life. God has made you a path and you are following it as you read this post. You have no choice in your fate.

Where does the concept of free will comes into picture. You blame god for all your misdeeds.

Will reply to the rest when I come back. Need to leave for the school. Peace.

Where does the concept of free will comes into picture. You blame god for all your misdeeds.



God could not have created light witout darkness, just as he created good and evil in all of us. We have the free will to choose but this life is very limited and in the end God is the only one with the power to chose our fate.

Spiritual Crisis

1-Who are we. What are we. Where did we come from. What’s our purpose in our life. How did we come into being. Do I really need the answers. Do I really deserve them. Am I really prepared to listen to them. Why shouldn’t I let it remain mystery.


2- Never judge people by their words. I say watch whether they are true to what they say. First step towards not being a hypocrite is admitting that you’re a hypocrite.

3-I’ve noticed one thing. People are unashamedly hypocritical and manipulative. They say that they are innocent and world is full of crap. They sound righteous in their statements but are unashamedly wicked and sadistic in their actions. They derive pleasure from people’s sorrows and torture people mentally. Then they go around the world bragging about how desired and how wonderful they are. About how innocent and naive they are in the ways of the world.

4- I hear a lot of crap from people about how ugly I am and how I cannot talk well. About how unsuccessful I am with girls. Well. Anyways. As much unhandsome and repulsive I am but I ask is this is all there is to my life. Is that the whole meaning and purpose of my life?

Ok let me come to the topic bugging me for quite some time. I feel left out. Like an outcast. Left out of this sodomy called life. This goddamned materialistic world. My so-called friends talk a lot about how they respect women. At the same time they ask me to be manipulative in my ways and fake an “ATTITUDE”. Attitude portraying superiority and ego, arrogance and pomposity.

So that they can be attracted towards my enigmatic and elusive persona. Don’t I have better things to do than appearing to be someone who I am not? Shouldn’t I rather devote my energies doing something more constructive and something more long lasting? Something which improves my character and flourishes my intellectual capabilities. Something which will improve my physical competence. Something which will bring about more lasting happiness and more lasting meaning. Something which will help me becomes a more complete person.

Don’t giving a crap about other people’s feelings. Not fucking caring about anyone else but your wants. Your needs. But deep down feeling guilty that we are being untrue to yourself. That something is wrong somewhere. But choke that feeble little goddamned voice called conscience as easily as they their screwed up minds allow them to.

Gaining popularity by disrespecting simple folks who cannot defend or present their views coherently logically. Gaining reputation by making fun of others. Gaining status by bragging about what they did and who they know. By making up lies and hurting people to gain their confidence and gratitude. Gaining by depicting themselves complete in all those aspects others feel incomplete, impotent and insecure about.

Is this justified? Is this right? Should I join the party? Do I want to join? Fuck no! Do I want to have the thoughts I’m having. I think yes. Even if they hurt and torture me mentally. Even if I feel choked. Even if I feel lonely. Friendless. Insane. Crazy. But I guess nothing could be a more thrilling, fulfilling adventure than standing up for what you believe in. Just be sure not to lose the perspective and not to be blinded by your ideals and turn into a fanatic vehemently imposing his viewpoint or living in his own bubble. Always be ready to hear your foes out. Even if its just to get a better understanding of their point of view. Maybe it will give you a point or two which you can keep in mind to improve or which you think is in your favour or which you can attack them by.

Man I don’t see the respect for women. I don’t know all of them are if they are worthy of it or not. I don’t think you should talk crap about them. People spread rumors about them. People fucking only see them as objects for sexual gratification. They talk excitedly about how they manipulated the girls to do whatever they wanted them to do. They couldn’t care less about their feelings. They justify their actions by labeling them as tramps that deserve to be treated that way. I think I ought to ask them about how they would think if the same thing happened to their daughters, sisters and mothers.

I see sick sadistic bastards with a very perverted value system graduating out of the graduation schools. These people can cross any limits to satisfy the cravings of their mind. People see education in a very narrow perspective. Only considering how he fared academically to judge him. Which college he went to. How much percentage. How much Rank. How much CGPA.

There seems to be no notion of right or wrong. Only desires needing to be fulfilled. There is no concept of guilt, innocence or retribution in their spirit. These people seems to me to be walking dead. Numb to all the human feelings. Cold and calculating as some mothafuckin’ androids. Closed to feelings of other people. Living for themselves in the delusion they created for themselves so painstakingly. Man I would hate to hurt someone else for my pleasure.

Not complete yet but I don’t think it’s supposed to be complete. I plan to keep on rambling all my life.

Aman.

P.S.Not edited or checked. Will check tomorrow to add or edit. or make the meaning more clear.

1- Human beings.... Just another species... Evolution? Religious origins? .... Yes, Yes, Yes... because you are a sentient being and you deserve the truth no matter how mind-bending it might be.

2- I like the Golden Rule (Confucius). Treat Others As You Would Have Them Treat You.... However I have an addendum to this rule. If they treat you like shit, you can treat them like shit.

3- True. Most people are shallow. They do not "walk the talk". It's sad. I totally agree...

4- Pure vanity. Fuck them. Be true to yourself. Be confident in who you are as a person and you will be attractive. It's not necessarily asthetic beauty that makes people attractive, it's honesty in personality. Regarding your language, I'm impressed by your english. You are Indian, but you write beatuful english,, you even use slang. You could be the guy next door. Either you wrote a nice software program or you speak good.

Good posting Bruce.

what is this?

My head is still ringing from jiu jitsu class but I'll give it a little try now and maybe a better one in the future.

Sometimes I think about if we were more like ants and thought more about the overall well being and happiness of the entire colony (6 billion+ humans), it would make everything so much easier than how it is now, with so many people working against each other, and in doing so preventing the full potential of the species of man.

Of course, we are very different than ants and a lot of our happiness is tied in with our free agency to be and do as we wish. But if we took the attitude to at least uplift others when given the choice it might go a long way.

If those around you had done that you might not be feeling what you do to be able to express all of those negative feelings.

Maybe that's the type of thing that Genki Sudo means when he holds up the sign saying, "We are all one".

I teach my child something that's very important and I'll say it here: the way others see you doesn't determine who you are. They could see you as the lowest of man or as a god, that doesn't change the truth of who you really are. Maybe only you know what you really are and it might take time for others to find out the secret.

I've seen some of your deep and well thought out advice in one or two of ChickenJorge's Townsquare threads so I know you got the goods. And some others pointed it out as well.

Keep your head up bro. Don't let the world get you down and if it does don't let it keep you down. At least one person should know what you're about. That should be YOU.

bro..... life is to short to begin to worry what other people think or feel about you. If they can't take You for who You are then I say fuck them and go out and meet new people because they don't need to be Your friends to begin with.

as far as the women are concerned You will meet Yours soon enough just give it some time and don't rush into shit, You have all the time in the world.

with that being said, I think Bruce and TBA summed it up the best.

Thanx TBA, Bruce, Evil and Axebro for your posting.

We worry because we’re insecure, unsure if we’re on the right path. All the fanatics and fools like wise are too sure of themselves. We’re unsure since we have an open mind. All of us are trying to find a meaning in our lives. Our every action is directed towards betterment and more meaning, however meaningless it appears to be. We all do the crap we think is right or the crap other people think is the right and we agree that the other people are generally right. We all do the things we are forced to do since we seek validation or are unsure of what we want from our lives. Or we think it’s an essential thing to do to attain the goals we set for ourselves. I think we need to think about what people are thinking about you with a right attitude to get a perspective on where you are in your life and where you want to go. You need to continuously reassess and reevaluate the goals you’ve set and the relevance of those goals in your search for better meaning in life. We cannot go on blaming god for our misdeeds as in he is in control and he put the situations around us and we had no choice but to do what we did. The choice is always yours. The action was committed by you. Take responsibility for what you did rather than blame god for your powerlessness. The choice is always yours. It was your karma that brought you where you are right now. Only your actions can take you closer towards better meaning/salvation in life. We need to be unashamedly contradicting and confused to clear the fog that clogs our mind. That is the only way you won’t be blinded by your own madness and logic. That you wouldn’t turn into an insane and irrational fanatic. Only way you would remain humble enough to listen to other people with empathy and understanding which will help you to improve your and other people’s life. Only way to save yourself from turning into a close minded lunatic.

I say that the things people expect you to do or the things people say to you should not effect your decisions. I think your thought process after pondering on those questions should help you make decisions that you make in your life. So we should be confident enough not to give the remote control of our lives in anyone else’s hands. We should not let others to manipulate your emotions and clog your thoughts. Pity them if need be. Accept them as prisoners of a closed mindset. Other people’s misdeeds should not instigate you to digress to the levels you deemed low. Pay heed to your actions rather than what they think about you. I mean the every event has a lot of events and actions behind it which is beyond our understanding or comprehension. So the best course of action is to end the obsession with results.

If anyone has enough time, do check out my blog.

amanamagus.blogspot.com

you need to have more sex

you need to have more sex

:) Funny a friend of mine said the same thing.!

Popular saying - Always do what your heart says is right because you will be always critisized for your actions

Popular saying - Always do what your heart says is right because you will be always critisized for your actions

Sadly, fanatics like Bin Laden and others also believe in this popular saying.

he listens to the quran not to his heart

he listens to the quran not to his heart

If he listened to Koran, he wouldnt have been doing what he's doing.

He had a troubled childhood and he hated his father for not loving him. That drew him towards Koran and the fanatic in his heart used koran as a means to vent out the frustration and agony in his heart.

I think you are only young and will have many opportunities in the future to make friends, meet women and eventually settle with a special one.

I believe that you should not waste time worrying about what other people think, just move on and find a better group of people.

If all else fails I guess you could move, in a way it could be considered running away from your problems but it would also be a new start; that way you would have no prejudice towards you and you would have the opportunity to achieve your goals of making many friends and finding a woman that you love and respect.

bump

If he listened to Koran, he wouldnt have been doing what he's doing.

the koran states muslims cannot invade or attack outside of their land, but only defend or take back what was theirs. palastein is considered muslim ground to muslims, and jews currently inhabit their land, funded and protected from the USA. osama is simply trying to take back whats his. jews however are from those lands, that's why its such a hard catch 22 situation. sorry if i'm off topic but osama is following the koran..radicly..

the koran states muslims cannot invade or attack outside of their land, but only defend or take back what was theirs. palastein is considered muslim ground to muslims, and jews currently inhabit their land, funded and protected from the USA. osama is simply trying to take back whats his. jews however are from those lands, that's why its such a hard catch 22 situation. sorry if i'm off topic but osama is following the koran..radicly..

Agreed

the koran states muslims cannot invade or attack outside of their land, but only defend or take back what was theirs. palastein is considered muslim ground to muslims, and jews currently inhabit their land, funded and protected from the USA. osama is simply trying to take back whats his. jews however are from those lands, that's why its such a hard catch 22 situation. sorry if i'm off topic but osama is following the koran..radicly..

I admit that I dont know much about Laden but I am certain that Islam doesnt validates the killing of innocent people. It has been a very misunderstood religion. For instance the concept of Burqa was considered as a step towards women empowerment but it soon became a prison for them. It certainly is off topic but couldnt resist replying.

There is 1 thing I have realized recently. Are we really free people? In today's society, you are expected to hold a job, regardless if you like it or not. Now I am assuming when I say this, but more than half of the population hates their current jobs. This being said, those are constantly doing the same thing, day in and day out. Little things may change, but you become a mindless drone, using the wash, rinse, repeat cycle every day of your life. How can someone say they are actually free if you are trapped in a daily routine?

I know you can quit your job, but if you have no choice and that job consumes. I just started a factory job and it isn't bad. I worked at fast food for 6 years before at the same place. I was conformed into not wanting to leave, but hating everyday of that job. I feel the same pressure at my new job and I have only worked 2 months.

I admit that I dont know much about Laden but I am certain that Islam doesnt validates the killing of innocent people. It has been a very misunderstood religion. For instance the concept of Burqa was considered as a step towards women empowerment but it soon became a prison for them. It certainly is off topic but couldnt resist replying.

your not correcting me, because if their is death involved to take back muslim holy land, then to them so be it. my point is still very valid and true my freind.

to muslims, americans are NOT innocent people. people who support the jews cause in palestein (most western countries) are NOT innocent. hence them being prone to muslim attack.

will read at a more convenient juncture

to muslims, americans are NOT innocent people. people who support the jews cause in palestein (most western countries) are NOT innocent. hence them being prone to muslim attack.

If true that would be really sad.

I had read some stuff on sufism. Sufism is a mystic tradition within Islam and encompasses a diverse range of beliefs and practices dedicated to divine love and the cultivation of the heart.

Not sure if you've heard about sufism. These are the verses by one of the most influential and reknowned of all of them. Bulleh Shah.

I know not who I am

I am neither a believer going to the mosque
Nor given to non-believing ways
Neither clean, nor unclean
Neither Moses not Pharoah
I know not who I am

I am neither among sinners nor among saints
Neither happy, nor unhappy
I belong neither to water not to earth
I am neither fire, not air
I know not who I am

Neither do I know the secret of religion
Nor am I born of Adam and Eve
I have given myself no name
I belong neither to those who squat and pray
Nor to those who have gone astray
I know not who I am

I was in the beginning, I’d be there in the end
I know not any one other than the One
Who could be wiser than Bulleh Shah
Whose Master is ever there to tend?
I know not who I am.

Check out these links.

http://www.poetry-chaikhana.com/B/BullehShah/BullehtomeIa.htm

http://www.the-south-asian.com/April2001/Sufis-wisdom%20against%20violence5.htm

As I said that the discussion deserves a new thread and as of now I dont know that much about Koran or its stand on Terrorism in context to mujahideens and extremists. I will make it a point to read more about it.

Peace.

P.S. It would be foolish for me to argue and waste time. I give up at this point. No offence.

to muslims, americans are NOT innocent people. people who support the jews cause in palestein (most western countries) are NOT innocent. hence them being prone to muslim attack.

yup, "infidels".....

sufis are the hippies of the muslim world btw, the sing dance and smoke a lot of weed....

sufis are the hippies of the muslim world btw, the sing dance and smoke a lot of weed....

Again may I ask which country are you from?!?. I think you told me but I forgot.

Again may I ask which country are you from?!?. I think you told me but I forgot.

same place that your from bro

he listens to the quran not to his heart

the quran speaks to him through his heart... all religions speak to it's adherents through they hearts, not their minds.

to muslims, americans are NOT innocent people. people who support the jews cause in palestein (most western countries) are NOT innocent. hence them being prone to muslim attack.

beyond that, we americans like to brag about our "democracy"... our government is "of, for and by the people".... Hence, whatever our government does (carpet bomb a populous city), ALL AMERICANS DID THIS and will/should be held accountable.

I have no problem with americas enemies damning all U.S citizens.. it's true. We're all guilty.

beyond that, we americans like to brag about our "democracy"... our government is "of, for and by the people".... Hence, whatever our government does (carpet bomb a populous city), ALL AMERICANS DID THIS and will/should be held accountable.

I have no problem with americas enemies damning all U.S citizens.. it's true. We're all guilty.

i cant remember america carpet bombing a city recently. i can remember some remote afghany mountains, but not any citys. that would be slighty derranged and would have severe back lashes that would more than likley affect me.

same place that your from bro

India?!? I'm from Punjab. What about you?!?

India?!? I'm from Punjab. What about you?!?

im from Gurgaon bro

Spiritual Crisis

This is a pretty deep topic.

As you've shared some of the inner you, I guess I can share some of the inner me.

I have faith in people and I don't...I'm a nice guy and I'm not...I see the world in a positive light and I don't.

I guess I should start by saying: I study people. It's one of my favorite things to do. I like nothing more than sitting off to the side of a group of people and watching them interact with each other and their surroundings. You learn the most about people when they don't think about what they're doing.

People have dual natures. All of us. Despite our best intentions. We are angels and devils and we can't choose one side. Even when we push as hard as we can to good or bad...the best we can manage is a lean.

The problem is the work required to keep leaning. Too many people, myself included, ease off now and then. When that happens, you swing back... Other people, your environment, and your own desires will pull back and undo all the work you've done.

I guess that means I think too many people are slacking off...Thinking that going to church, donating money, or just being nice every once in a while will make them OK. That's my theory on why people treat each other like shit sometimes. I am guilty of it, but I'm trying to push as hard as I can to be a good person.

I heard an interesting point about karma. They say that it the action is counted as a karma only if your mind is into it. We do evil acts with full concentration. But while doing good deeds we generally dont mean it or dont really care. I mean to say that our mind is into it. I know I sound naive but I wil definitely learn more and express it in a better way.

I heard an interesting point about karma. They say that it the action is counted as a karma only if your mind is into it. We do evil acts with full concentration. But while doing good deeds we generally dont mean it or dont really care. I mean to say that our mind is into it. I know I sound naive but I wil definitely learn more and express it in a better way.

I know what you're talking about. I try to keep things as honest as I can with myself. If I don't feel like doing a good deed, I will not. Somehow I feel that is better than doing the good deed for an empty reason such as having a good image, building good karma, or following the rules of a belief system.

You know what bob, Sometimes I neglect my life to help out other people. I have fucked up my life a lot of times to get people out of some trouble.

You know what bob, Sometimes I neglect my life to help out other people. I have fucked up my life a lot of times to get people out of some trouble.

Yes...

I have done that in the past. Now I try to keep balanced as much as possible. Sometimes that means leaving people to deal with their own problems. It's not the most outgoing way to work a friendship, but I've learned that some things are not my place to fix or attempt to fix. I offer support, but not help/solutions.

its almost 1 am here & my thought process isnt too clear, will come back & add something later...

You know what bob, Sometimes I neglect my life to help out other people. I have fucked up my life a lot of times to get people out of some trouble.

Evan Tanner is the same and he has suffered for that as does every over generous soul. benevolant and generous you sure are magus, but give yourself a little more "me" time. cuz at the end of the day bro all you have is yourself.

Is it worth getting in trouble for your friends. Is it worth getting in trouble for people who are potential friends? Can you afford to help out people you consider friends. The people to whom you’re just well wishers. The people who don’t really except anything from you. The people who wont feel hurt if you wont volunteer your help. Is it worth it. People say why screw yourself for somebody who will turn out to be an ungracious acquaintance?!?

I think the answer is hope. The answer is sacrifice. You have to sacrifice something to gain something significant. Isn’t true friendship worth all the heartburns, trials and tribulations? Only lucky ones get true friends worth dying for. You can talk about anything and everything with friends without any inhibitions. You can be yourself. You can get the advice from people who understand you and who will make you understand yourself better. The people who will forgive your sins and help you make amends and move on. The people who will point out your faults but will trust you nevertheless and be faithful to you. These are the people on whom you can count on in your hour of trouble. These people will watch your back when you’re not on guard and the whole world is watching to stab you. The true friendship might seem like a utopian concept. People say that people are not perfect and their faith is bound to falter and they will give up on you at some point. But I still cling to hope. Helping out people where I think they are right and they cannot do without my help. The gravity of need is one thing which can only be fully understood by the one who is caught up in a certain situation. So I cannot claim that I’m helping the person to pull him out of that situation. I just help him out to gain wisdom and help him to move on with life without any hiccups. I get gratification and peace of mind by helping out. The elation that only helping selflessly can bring to your heart.

I hate trying to judge people. I’m guilty of this crime. I judge my potential friends in haste, I want them to be perfect. Without any blemishes. I would love to change this habit of myself. I try observing them though and try to find why they are doing what they are doing. Never understand much and don’t dare ask them. Some of them don’t know about it themselves. I blame the disconnect between mind and soul to be the reason. Not that I have understood much. It has only increased my doubts. Increased the confusion manifold. I hope I regain my innocence someday. I hope the duality gives what to oneness. That I don’t have to put a face in front of somebody. I hope I stop being a masquerader. I hope I find peace. I hope that god gives me strength to make me admit my dark deeds in open someday. I would not admit in front of a priest in a cabin since the crimes were committed against the soul of world. The spirit of humanity was tarnished by those acts. So I have to beg for forgiveness in front of them. I will have to accept the verdict to wash away my sins.

I have more thoughts on this but I'm unable to write right now. I will write later.

i cant remember america carpet bombing a city recently. i can remember some remote afghany mountains, but not any citys. that would be slighty derranged and would have severe back lashes that would more than likley affect me.

Uh, does the Shock and Awe of Baghdad ring a bell?

Have you been living in a cave with Osama for the last 5 years, bro?

Uh, does the Shock and Awe of Baghdad ring a bell?

Have you been living in a cave with Osama for the last 5 years, bro?

I'm not going to justify the bombing in Baghdad because a 'x' lb bomb doesn't discriminate between people and buildings. However the U.S bombing campaign in Iraq was not the same as the criminal carpet bombing it did in Cambodia in the sixties for example.

Uh, does the Shock and Awe of Baghdad ring a bell?

Have you been living in a cave with Osama for the last 5 years, bro?

i read the news daily, never have i heard of america killing mass innocents. you can use carpet bombs, you can call the area a city if you like, but how many casualtys were there? not many i expect, unless the media are hiding the amount of iraqi deaths.

hang on a minute i'm a bit drunk here...the "shock and awe" what the fuck you talkin about? the only shock is at how fucking thick your president is, nothing more. the stupid stubborn cunt clearly can't take it on the chin and accept a mistake and get the fuck out of there (iraq).

theres no carpet bombing of citys, and thats where i corrected you bruce lee. carpet bombing a city is dumb dumb talk.


you should be ashamed and embarresed by bush not take pride in his actions...holy shit some people are deluded. go vote for him again, so the entire planet can turn against you. that would be smart wouldn't it!

to make up for my anti american rants, i liked clinton a lot. i had no beef with the usa only respect and admiration when clinton was in charge. he was a fair man imo. and liked teh pussy.

WW2 was a vital war to fight in. iraq isnt vital its stupid and wasteful. if you disagree with that comment go and vote for bush so i can despise you.

sorry if i cause offence im just passionate about this and drunk.

hang on a minute i'm a bit drunk here...the "shock and awe" what the fuck you talkin about? the only shock is at how fucking thick your president is, nothing more. the stupid stubborn cunt clearly can't take it on the chin and accept a mistake and get the fuck out of there (iraq).

theres no carpet bombing of citys, and thats where i corrected you bruce lee. carpet bombing a city is dumb dumb talk.


you should be ashamed and embarresed by bush not take pride in his actions...holy shit some people are deluded. go vote for him again, so the entire planet can turn against you. that would be smart wouldn't it!

to make up for my anti american rants, i liked clinton a lot. i had no beef with the usa only respect and admiration when clinton was in charge. he was a fair man imo. and liked teh pussy.

WW2 was a vital war to fight in. iraq isnt vital its stupid and wasteful. if you disagree with that comment go and vote for bush so i can despise you.

sorry if i cause offence im just passionate about this and drunk.


1. shock and awe was the term they used to refer to the first series of air strikes at the beginning of the war... although they werent technically carpet bombings there was a fair amount of collateral damage

2. i can almost garuntee you bruce did not vote for bush

3. war clinton!

4. war being drunk!

5. me by armbar, gracie jiujitsu ftw!

1. shock and awe was the term they used to refer to the first series of air strikes at the beginning of the war... although they werent technically carpet bombings there was a fair amount of collateral damage

2. i can almost garuntee you bruce did not vote for bush

3. war clinton!

4. war being drunk!

5. me by armbar, gracie jiujitsu ftw!

your a living legend

400+ - 0 ftw !

Clinton is a cunt, war criminal etc.

Clinton is a cunt, war criminal etc.

what u.s. president isnt a war criminal?

well don't cheerlead for the prick, possible rapist,etc,etc:agree:

what u.s. president isnt a war criminal?

Nixon.

If you think you’re perfect. If you think there’s nothing wrong with you, then how can you be resurrected. How are you supposed to strive for perfection if you’re already perfect? Why should you keep on running if you’re already where you always wanted to be? Already at the top of the mountain you always wanted to climb.

You need to have doubts about your existence. About everything around you first and they should piss you off so badly that you try to find answers or at least try to find a person who knows the answers. And if you get problems in the way of your search, consider that as a part of your journey which will make you evolve and make you worthy of your destination. Don’t just give up your quest for betterment. You are bound to fail at some tasks. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure.

If you think you’re perfect. If you think there’s nothing wrong with you, then how can you be resurrected? You need to have doubts about your existence. About everything around you first and they should piss you off so badly that you try to find answers or at least try to find a person who knows the answers. And if you get problems in the way of your search, consider that as a part of your journey which will make you evolve and make you worthy of your destination. Don’t just give up your quest for betterment. You are bound to fail at some tasks. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You rise up and keep climbing towards the hill.

ive never put a whole lot of stock into what other people have thought or done. i can sympathize with what you are feeling a lot, as it is very frustrating feeling like you miss out on things by thinking different and holding different values. but in the long run it turns into an issue of self contentment. you could act like all the rest of em, but at the end of the day, outcast or no, would it really make you feel any better? i know it never did for me. i was in a situation a lot like yours in my earlier school days, and it wasnt until i stopped trying to be what every one else was and started being who i am that i felt any sense of self at all. am i still bitter sometimes? absolutely. do i think i missed out on things? not so much. and it is an acceptable loss to not have those experiences because at the end of the day i can still take satisfaction that i am a good person. i might not get a lot of the simple gratifications in life like a ton of notches on my bedpost. but id take all the meaningful sex ive had in my life over a lot of meaningless timekillers any day. i guess the important thing is that you stay true to you. its hard to do sometimes, but even if it were to have some short term benefits not too it would definitely be hard to look at yourself in the mirror otherwise.

and im sure someone else has probably told you, but no woman worth talking to puts a guys appearance anywhere near her top three desired traits. just be confident in who you are and the rest will fall into place.

Thanx for advice EightBitOdinbro. Great post.

Where to begin? This is entirely too much to touch down upon. I feel like Maniac Mcgee trying to untie that giant knot at the pizza parlor across from black town.

Feel free to skip pass this. It is just a ramble of sweet nothings..

Well, I'll start at the begining. I do not believe in god. No gods, messiahs, prophets, miracles, hail marys, masses, or crosses. Religion is just ridiculous to me. I have read the entire bible cover to cover and it has solidified my opinions as an athiest. I am a huge believer in facts and science, and the notion that if something doesn't add up, it just usually doesn't; and any attempt to justify it with outlandish claims, and stretches of faith further cement the notion that these fanatics keep their margins for facts EXTREMELY narrow in order not to disrupt their own faith.

Karma is the closest thing that my brain will even consider to suggest that it may contain even a hint of relevance to society. But even karma has huge flaws. I completely agree with bruce and the golden rule. It is much more applicable to being a real humanitarian. The problem with karma is if you believe in all actions coming full circle, I would find no problem slashing your throat and taking your wallet. Why? Because it was karma, and you must have deserved it.

Basically the term hypocrit is a hypocracy itself. Usually the traits you see in other people that make you angry or upset are just mirrored images that you see about yourself that you don't like. Pay close attention to this, because it is always true.

Nobody likes to be lied to, but everybody lies. Sometimes we lie to protect others, sometimes we THINK we are protecting others, sometimes we are protecting ourselves, and sometimes we are just trying to boost social status. The point is, its easy to be a hypocrit when justification is involved. Hell, I fucked my best friends old lady, something I would NEVER say I would do if you were to ask me 6 months ago. But, alas, I can justify this in my mind to where I do not feel bad about it. I don't think the problem is necessarily me being a hypocrit, and the fact that I wouldn't like it if it happened to me. The real problem lies within the justification of my actions. Does this make me a hypocrit, or just an asshole? Or is it alright because I made peace about it within myself? Who's judging, and what set of rules do I go by? To her I am not an asshole, to him I am. Who's right? I guess the answer is whatever I feel it is.

Justification is hypocracy. Hypocracy is justification.

Universal truth is not measured in mass appeal. It is within yourself.

I don't believe in disrespecting women. Most women, however, deserve to be disrespected, as do many men. But now we are talking about the most basics of human nature. We are programmed to fuck. Plain and simple. A mans soul driven purpose in life is to spread his seed as much as possible to ensure the survival of the human race. It is instilled so deep within us, that we do not have a choice. Why do you think couples cheat on eachother? There are things bigger than morals and values; such as chemistry, hormones, and phergamones (sp?) that completely scramble our censors and cloud our judgement and force us to fulfill our primal urges. Ever click with someone SO hard, that from the first moment you met them you knew you were fucking them within the hour? There is no wedding band or marriage license in the world big enough to stop a chemical reaction like that. That's life, baby. People being bragadocious about sexual encounters only further enlarges the ego making it easier to spread your seed to the next most attractive suitable mate. And if you think women aren't scandleous too, you are sadly mistaken my friend. Women are pure evil when it comes to vicious actions. Hell, they outnumber us 51-49%. Probability is our answer here.

Honestly if you are feeling discouraged about others actions or opinions about you, don't. The best revenge is living well. Stay true to yourself and help others as much as you can, and it will not go un-noticed. Yes, it is discouraging at times, but it will all pay off in the end. And there is NOTHING wrong with faking confidence. Fake it til you make it, man. Think about any job you've had. Were you a pro on the first day? No, you basically fake it for a few weeks until you get the hang of it and gain the confidence to call yourself a professional. Gaining confidence with women is the same way. We are all born a certain way, and some people have to work for traits that they want in their life. This is not considered being fake, it is evolving and growing as a person. This is fine, and is actually healthy for the spirit.

I do not believe in fate. I believe life is free will and the actions we take eventually leads us to our individual futures, and ultimately our demise; making it appear as fate to some people.

And yes, always help people. Help friends, potential friends, strangers, family, etc. I would even go as far as to help an enemy if the situation called for it. (Ala pulp fiction gimp scene) Enemies are good for the soul. That's another thing aman, use all the fucked up shit that happens to you and all the heartache you receive in life to your advantage. Where would eminem be if he didn't have that kim bitch to fuel his fire? Where would hitler have done with his life if he hadn't been beat down all his life as a starving artist? (Bad example?) Misery and anger drives us as humans and is the cause of 99% of all creative outbursts. Feel greatful that you harbor these wars inside of you. What does not kill you makes you stronger, and every day you are getting a little smarter.

You are on the right track. The fact that you question these thing shows you are on the right track.

i read all of it & its heavy, odd...

i read all of it & its heavy, odd...
<3

<3

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y269/dragonfly8O8/hsk/14c99f26.gif

I feel like the barren earth which could have been fertile. But which hasn’t lost its potential to be fertile. It’s barren since I haven’t nurtured it as well as I could have. It was not provided with proper nourishment. But the damage done is not irreparable. There is hope for life. The spring of wisdom can still come to the surface with a bang. The Volcano which hasn’t been allowed to vent its feelings can still erupt just because hope is intact..

I feel like the artist who couldn’t express himself. The painter whose brushes were snatched and he’s incapable to either run away or snatch those brushes back. Then suddenly out of blue after a lot of time when he has given up hope of getting back to what he considered life and he started looking for another source of meaning, those same people hand those brushes back. The person gets confused. He has got the very thing he has longed for all his life has been handed over to him without any reason. He gets tense on hearing that he is free to do whatever he wants to do. He is scared of walking the road and destroys those brushes in haste and lives the rest of his life ruing that action and trying to convince that he could’ve never ever painted. But then somewhere congratulating that he was good and he had potential to be better.

Now this land has lots of potential. He has no idea about what it can do. No idea about the effects of its expression. No idea whether the repercussions would be positive or negative. The volcano is anything the person wants badly enough to do/get.

Now he has two options. Simmer with discontent and feel constricted under pressure for a while till the volcano erupts bringing to fore the springs of unheard wisdom and treasures of unseen emotions. Something unique. From the bottom of the soul.

The other option is to find a temporary vent and keep letting go of pressure from time to time. The easy and more common option to let go of the simmering rage inside you. But being convict to the guilt and unrealized potential forever.

Do we need to search for vent? An opening. I guess yes. How do we get to know that the time is ripe for eruption? Should we continue till our patience allows us to? Should it be the time when only drastic measures can help to maintain the sanctity of land? How violating the attack should be to mutilate the sacredness to retaliate?

But the fertility of land has been long lost and I fear that the volcano will never erupt. Is it possible that there would be no explosion after we have missed the right opportunity to explode? Will those springs will remain unseen forever. Will the land die with that song still unsung in his heart?

The problem is the confusion. We cannot afford to forget the necessity of making/letting everything happen at the right time. Or can we? Is it mentioned somewhere in the mysterious shadows of world we live in? Are there omens? Are we meant to attempt to decrypt them? We write the future nevertheless. The destiny is in our hands to be made.

Am I meant to be helped? Will it hinder my growth like that of a larva which has to go through turmoil to turn into a butterfly? You help it and it will never turn into what it could have been. It would die because of your help. It would never reach its potential because it got help when it was meant to evolve into a higher being on its own.

Right now I have two plans which I can follow. Both offer tremendous opportunities and some possible drawbacks. One I continue what I was doing and learn from the routine I have been subjected to and grow. Growth will come because of the sheer intensity of sentiments I am feeling. It is nevertheless the easy thing to do.

Or I can follow the SEEMINGLY difficult path of adventure and expose myself to the vagaries of the real world. Grow from the freedom. Learn from the independent spirits.

I have no idea which road is the proverbial easy way and which one is difficult. The second one, the adventure can be considered easy since it might be construed as a way to escape the sheer intensity of feelings, as a means to escape the present reality and abandon the road and fellow pilgrims and search for meaning elsewhere. The first one might be my lack of commitment, my procrastination which holds me back from being worthy of undertaking the adventures.

Just when I was pondering over the decision, I got a sign. That if I can dare to, I should try to undertake the adventure. The mystery of unknown can bring to the surface the wisdom which was alien to me. If it’s meant otherwise, the whole providence will stop me. But I should not hold myself back. I can save the fellow travelers only if I can understand how to save myself. I must not hold myself back from reaching my full potential.

You’re so caught up in your own little world with your little mansion in the city’s posh area and you don’t give a damn about the other people living outside your area of vision dismissing them as lesser mortals designed to exist without being brought into your attention. I’ve often tried to share my views but you seem to be too enlightened already to care for whatever irrelevant meaningless crap I have to say. Don’t forget that you could be on the other side of the window in a matter of seconds. Respect the time. You could find yourself in the company of these dirty ugly people and you won’t be able to breathe properly. I implore you to think lest it’s too late and you find that you cannot live like this. The road would get lot tough if you make the luxuries and indulgences into your needs and wants.

You have the highest possible benchmarks about how people should act and conduct themselves. You give most eloquent lectures about character and values but you never seem to notice where you stand in there. When I say that you’re a hypocrite calling me out as wrong, when you’re guilty of same wrong, you justify your mistakes as needs. That’s a great way to go about it. My wrongs are excesses and your mistakes are charming needs without which you cannot exist. Why don’t you ever be the examples you want us to follow?

You idolize your club members so much that you seem to be blissfully ignorant of your own insignificance and emptiness. You seem to think that there’s a genetic pool in which all the goodness, intelligence, strength, values, character and every other thing worth mentioning is placed. Everyone in this garden of Eden is perfect. You have turned blind to the fault of the members of your priory and ignore their faults as being cute. Yes, it’s so cute when it’s your people and it’s so wrong when it’s me. It’s ok if it’s your group and it’s gross if I’m involved. I’m the black sheep. I’m the rotten apple who will spread the disease towards the whole basket. Can’t you ever see that other fruits were looking to get rotten? Is it really a rot?

I’m not trying to imply that you should focus on negatives or find faults with others but show more empathy towards the outcasts. Try to think about what you were when you were at my stage. Try to think about what people in my stage do. Try to think about if it’s really wrong. I will learn if I realize it. Mocking and sarcasm will only make it difficult since it will raise a wall of disdain in between our minds and the point wont come across. I will change for better. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m not supposed to be. But I’m supposed to be moving towards better. Focus on positives but don’t forget to notice negatives. You need to know about your negatives if you want to improve. Your existence is totally shallow and empty and I pity you for the lack of effort you put in thinking.

You don’t have to put up with anyone who’s not pretty. You don’t have to be exposed to filth and garbage in the world. Why because you should never have to be exposed to failure. You should never have to face the torment of being wrong. You are always right, true and pushing your limits and facing the adversity. Whenever you fail you just excuse yourself by saying that the success you’ve enjoyed is enough and you’re satisfied with your performance. After all you gave it your best shot and went ahead than most of them.

And I’m somebody who’s a goddamned loser now but I was once a member of your hallowed cool gang who turned out to be a black sheep and failed. Oh! You don’t have to be tolerant to be any kind of failure. You don’t have to bear the company of any failure. But think about it for a second if your feeble retarded haughty brain allows you to think rationally straight for a second and if you can put aside your artificial unnecessary attitude and pride for a rare moment of introspection and be honest to yourself. I hope you’ll be able to break through the pressure of being so goddamned perfect all the time so you don’t lost the membership of your friggin’ club that you’re member of with all that glitz and pomposity but sadly little substance.

I truly despise your Nazi ways but you’re goddamned impotent and irrelevant. You cannot dictate terms to you. You’re more than welcome to remain a prisoner of the cage you’ve made for yourself.

Look at you. Just look at you for a moment. You’re so insecure and so highly strung that I almost feel sorry for you.

But why am I angry with you. Why am I so goddamn frustrated? Is it really about you? Do I really give a shit if you’re a pompous ass or not. I guess I see some things which at which I lack at and I can/should be better. So rather than concentrating my energies at hating you, I’d rather work towards getting better and making you envious of my success. I don’t really look to earn your envy but I’d rather get better by focusing my energies on better and more fruitful purpose. And trust me you’ll become my nut hugger when I’m done doing what I plan to do with me. Only thing stopping me from getting where I want to be is me.

I need some links and stuff to update myself on teh american slang and stuff. I feel left out not knowing your lingo.

Who are we. What are we. Where did we come from. What’s our purpose in our life. How did we come into being. Do I really need the answers. Do I really deserve them. Am I really prepared to listen to them. Why shouldn’t I let it remain mystery.

I'm Ruben. I'm a guy who's battling demons that relate to his family. Demons that bring out the worst in a person according to society. I constantly battle myself as to how I should act on a daily basis. I like drinking but I feel bad when I do it. My main motivators are not dissapointing my mom and trying to find a shred of sanity between what my family before me is and what I want to be. I dont know what I want to be. I think I know but there's doubts that come up every day. I want answers to everything but I haven't really acted that way. The synopsis to my life for the last 5 years has been to fix things on monday. after I go out and party and just go crazy, monday rolls around and for some reason, I keep thinking that monday will be the day that everything will change. silly mondays. silly ruben. my life is fun. ultimately that's all I have to offer myself when shit gets gloomy.

tl/dr ftw!

As of this moment, I'm looking for comforting and inspiration. I dont think anything else would work. I'm just rambling here. Maybe it doesnt make much sense here.


When the whole meaning of your existence is being questioned, when the situation will have life altering repercussion, the only thing that matters is your survival. I don’t really care about the death. All I care for is the way I live. That’s what really matters. I do care about making sure that my existence as a person is worth it. In times when a challenge is thrown in your face and you’re momentarily pushed to the ropes. The reality gets too hot to handle. The weight of expectations gets too high and the consequences of failure too bad at that time.

In times of crisis, all other emotions are numbed. All feelings are relegated to the back. All your focus is on getting out unscathed from the battlefield. There seem to be no right or wrong in your survival provided you can carry on your life with the ramifications of your actions if the things go as you planned them to go. You give it your best shot. Discover your true self. It scares to see how capable of good or evil you are. It makes you aware of the limits you have and the limits you’re willing to cross. The structure of the postulates your life is set on is restructured.

You do whatever you can do. You try to find whatever leeway you can find. You’ll feel more alive than you ever were and you’ll be more appreciative of your life. You get a new sense of purpose and your existence seems to get a new reason. You have something to fight for. You discover a new challenge to conquer and prove your mettle to. You are the only audience you have. The only person you have to prove your worth to is yourself. Everyone else gets invisible. That’s coz its only you who truly matters.

You don’t really sit down to evaluate how viable or practical the goal is. You just get down to do it, irrespective of whether it’s been attempted and achieved before. You inspire yourself. Coz all outer sources of inspiration have dried up and its upto you now. Perform or perish. And that source of inspiration within you is everlasting.

I find myself in the same situation. Everyone else seems to have given up on me. Except my mom. The faith she has in me scares me sometimes. Its painful how letdown and powerless she feels. I mean everyone else does not think I’ll be able to bounce back. Including me. Well as of now I have to admit even if it’s the most shameful thing I say, I seem to have given up. The only person who can rescue me is myself. I feel wasted. My life seems to have no purpose. No meaning. Nothing. Just a big emptiness. 0. Just another burden on the face of the earth. Just another blot on the already strained resources of our planet where so many invisible faces die a silent death unheard, unloved, uncared for.

I am looking for inspiration. I hope I get strength soon enough to get out of this situation. I hope I am able to surprise the doubters. I hope. Maybe that’s the only solace I have right now. Hope. I still hope that things can change. I still hope that things can be different. I still hope. What a paradoxical word hope is. It can make you complacent. You keep on hoping without really getting down to working.

But I think I’m finally realizing the true essence of hope. The essence which supports us in situation where we have nothing else to hold onto. Where its you against the world. Where its more than a measure to put off things. Where its more than a means to stay away from reality. Where it helps you awake from sleep and get down to work.

I think I have chance in spite of my confidence at lowest ebb and my fears and my feeling of impotency because I still cling to hope.

It’s instilled within you. You just have to realize that it was always within you. It comes to surface in the times of crisis. You become aware of your being as a man when you’re tested. And you give your all. You go in there and give it your best. The best you have. And then result becomes immaterial. He only thing that ever mattered was that you gave it your best shot. And that itself makes you a better man. That itself makes you a winner coz you never meant to lose. The idea of losing was alien to you.

You were oblivious to any other purpose. You acted like your whole life depended on it.

...Man I don’t see the respect for women. I don’t know all of them are if they are worthy of it or not. I don’t think you should talk crap about them. People spread rumors about them. People fucking only see them as objects for sexual gratification. They talk excitedly about how they manipulated the girls to do whatever they wanted them to do. They couldn’t care less about their feelings. They justify their actions by labeling them as tramps that deserve to be treated that way. I think I ought to ask them about how they would think if the same thing happened to their daughters, sisters and mothers...

It goes both ways bro. In my experience, women treat men worse than vise versa. When it comes to break ups or divorce, when they get bored or see something new they think they want, it's over. Women, not all but many, seem to always put themselves first.

Not our moms though... they're the best!

As of this moment, I'm looking for comforting and inspiration. I dont think anything else would work. I'm just rambling here. Maybe it doesnt make much sense here.


When the whole meaning of your existence is being questioned, when the situation will have life altering repercussion, the only thing that matters is your survival. I don’t really care about the death. All I care for is the way I live. That’s what really matters. I do care about making sure that my existence as a person is worth it. In times when a challenge is thrown in your face and you’re momentarily pushed to the ropes. The reality gets too hot to handle. The weight of expectations gets too high and the consequences of failure too bad at that time.

In times of crisis, all other emotions are numbed. All feelings are relegated to the back. All your focus is on getting out unscathed from the battlefield. There seem to be no right or wrong in your survival provided you can carry on your life with the ramifications of your actions if the things go as you planned them to go. You give it your best shot. Discover your true self. It scares to see how capable of good or evil you are. It makes you aware of the limits you have and the limits you’re willing to cross. The structure of the postulates your life is set on is restructured.

You do whatever you can do. You try to find whatever leeway you can find. You’ll feel more alive than you ever were and you’ll be more appreciative of your life. You get a new sense of purpose and your existence seems to get a new reason. You have something to fight for. You discover a new challenge to conquer and prove your mettle to. You are the only audience you have. The only person you have to prove your worth to is yourself. Everyone else gets invisible. That’s coz its only you who truly matters.

You don’t really sit down to evaluate how viable or practical the goal is. You just get down to do it, irrespective of whether it’s been attempted and achieved before. You inspire yourself. Coz all outer sources of inspiration have dried up and its upto you now. Perform or perish. And that source of inspiration within you is everlasting.

I find myself in the same situation. Everyone else seems to have given up on me. Except my mom. The faith she has in me scares me sometimes. Its painful how letdown and powerless she feels. I mean everyone else does not think I’ll be able to bounce back. Including me. Well as of now I have to admit even if it’s the most shameful thing I say, I seem to have given up. The only person who can rescue me is myself. I feel wasted. My life seems to have no purpose. No meaning. Nothing. Just a big emptiness. 0. Just another burden on the face of the earth. Just another blot on the already strained resources of our planet where so many invisible faces die a silent death unheard, unloved, uncared for.

I am looking for inspiration. I hope I get strength soon enough to get out of this situation. I hope I am able to surprise the doubters. I hope. Maybe that’s the only solace I have right now. Hope. I still hope that things can change. I still hope that things can be different. I still hope. What a paradoxical word hope is. It can make you complacent. You keep on hoping without really getting down to working.

But I think I’m finally realizing the true essence of hope. The essence which supports us in situation where we have nothing else to hold onto. Where its you against the world. Where its more than a measure to put off things. Where its more than a means to stay away from reality. Where it helps you awake from sleep and get down to work.

I think I have chance in spite of my confidence at lowest ebb and my fears and my feeling of impotency because I still cling to hope.

It’s instilled within you. You just have to realize that it was always within you. It comes to surface in the times of crisis. You become aware of your being as a man when you’re tested. And you give your all. You go in there and give it your best. The best you have. And then result becomes immaterial. He only thing that ever mattered was that you gave it your best shot. And that itself makes you a better man. That itself makes you a winner coz you never meant to lose. The idea of losing was alien to you.

You were oblivious to any other purpose. You acted like your whole life depended on it.

I read the whole thing buddy but i don't know why you say everyone, except your mom, has given up on you. What have you done so bad... did i miss something?

You're in college and working on your degree aren't you? You are very smart and funny and loyal. Things seem rough at times but you are so young magus... life almost always gets better by the decade. Trust me.

Sincerely,
Steve Wimmer

Its my degree man. Its fucked up. I have to cover up a year worth of work in 2 months. Possible but I am really low right now.

I failed 4 on 6 subs last sem. So I have to to appear for those subs too this time. Add to it 5 more subs of this sem. And academics is a really big deal here in india. You fail, your life's over. That's it.

But thanks for the kind words wimmerbro.

I'll elaborate on my problem specifically some time later. Right now I'm just so dazed.

Its my degree man. Its fucked up. I have to cover up a year worth of work in 2 months. Possible but I am really low right now.

I failed 4 on 6 subs last sem. So I have to to appear for those subs too this time. Add to it 5 more subs of this sem. And academics is a really big deal here in india. You fail, your life's over. That's it.

Oh shit magus, i didn't realize. I don't know why you failed those classes but get your mind right bro. I believe in you. And as much as i would miss your posts, if you need to get off here for a while to get the work done, do it.

Sincerely,
Steve Wimmer

Well let’s just try to get down to the root of the problem. Where could it stem from? Maybe absent mindedness. The thing that I’m not able to focus and I give up too soon if the results don’t come fast. I need to be more patient. And more focused. And need to drive away every other thought from my mind. Easier said than done. But can be done. Needs to be done and the problem of procrastination.

Its my degree man. Its fucked up. I have to cover up a year worth of work in 2 months. Possible but I am really low right now.

I failed 4 on 6 subs last sem. So I have to to appear for those subs too this time. Add to it 5 more subs of this sem. And academics is a really big deal here in india. You fail, your life's over. That's it.


I believe that life is only over when we die. I'm not a quitter and I think anything can happen. Hardwork and being persistant is the key. I left my University after 2 and a half years and came to Slovakia to start over. Keep going.

Manic Ramblings

To get the true taste of what a writer has to say, you need to read the original book before reading the critiques and elaborations. These things clog your mind. You need to think for yourself after hearing everyone out. Maybe the people commenting on a certain classic have the best intentions in their mind but sometimes they turn people away from religion. The people see inconsistencies in the work and ways of these visible (public faces) people and judge the value of a certain text based on that.

The baptism doesn’t have to be prison. It has to be voluntary surrender of oneself to the master in which we have Unquestionable faith. But before putting in our Unquestionable faith into the master, we need to be wise enough to judge if the person whom we’re going to trust blindly is not blind himself and harbors good will for us. He needs to have walked the path himself and reached the destination to show us the way.

And the master reserves the right to test the commitment of the disciple at any time. The student sometimes has a tendency to assure the teacher of the needlessness of such a test by affirming his faith in his teacher. But if he had faith in his teacher, he’d do whatever his teacher asks him to do. And the true guru wouldn’t dissuade the student from asking answers. If it’s in your heart, it’ll show in your actions. The strange thing is that the outer acts are no guarantee that we truly trust our teacher. But in the end its all upto student. Its futile to try to deceive himself and his master. He wouldn’t be able to reach the destination on a road completely unknown to him. If a person is pure on inside, he’ll be pure on outside without much effort. The converse is not true. A person can talk all the right words, deceive the world by doing all the right things but if the intent of doing the deed is not there, its not worth it. I’m not sure if a person who’s pure on inside can afford to be whatever he wants to on outside and whether his guru would/should accept him. Is there a way to know what kind of a person he’s on inside? I have no idea as of now.

The unquestionable faith is necessary since we don’t have any idea of the road we’re going to go on. The terrain and the treacheries of the road are known only to the master. So only he can guide us. That’s why we need to pledge unquestionable loyalty to him. Sometimes we need to do something which is absurd but we must do it anyways. But we must request to be enlightened about the necessity of the action we had performed and why should it not be considered an action violating our moral fiber. We must seek answer since it is a part of becoming master itself.

Well, that’s what I think.

Comments/Analysis/Arguments/ Criticism?

Have I lost it?

fuck townsquare

:wah: I hate you now. :angry:

Found this really good article. Thought i'd share.


The One Who Got Away
In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with…and the one that got away. Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter whom you’re with; it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact. Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you’re single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?” That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life. If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one that will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple…find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder.

Another one I just had to post.

As a child, Charley “Chick” Benetto was told by his father, “You can be a mama’s boy or a daddy’s boy, but you can’t be both.” So he chooses his father, only to see the man disappear when Charley is on the verge of adolescence.
Decades later, Charley is a broken man. His life has been crumbled by alcohol and regret. He loses his job. He leaves his family. He hits bottom after discovering his only daughter has shut him out of her wedding. And he decides to take his own life.
He makes a midnight ride to his small hometown, with plans to do himself in. But upon failing even to do that, he staggers back to his old house, only to make an astonishing discovery. His mother -- who died eight years earlier -- is still living there, and welcomes him home as if nothing ever happened."

I'm very torn these days on people and society. All I can say right now is money makes the world go round at the moment. So get off the shoes and study.