Open Letter To Kansas School Board (http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/)


I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.
Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.
Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.
http://www.venganza.org/piratesarecool4.jpg
In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken. I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.
Sincerely Yours,
Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen.
P.S. I have included an artistic drawing of Him creating a mountain, trees, and a midget. Remember, we are all His creatures.
http://www.venganza.org/him2.jpg

tumbleweed

TL/FWI

moved to S&P

moved to S&P

The Flying Spagetti Monster is Spirituality and not the Asylum?

Uhhhhh, ok.

The Flying Spagetti Monster is Spirituality and not the Asylum?

Uhhhhh, ok.

i didnt see the FSM in the thread title

Bruce is right, this thread belongs in the Anus.

I believe in intelligent design, but i see no reason why it should be taught in a Science class.

ID is a creation in the brain.. when you start challenging the theory with questions it quickly falls apart.. Besides there is no science to back it up or no ancient book(the bible) that depicts ID as the beginning..

P.S bible is based on creation not ID.. The fact that we have proof of evolution again kind of blows it out of the water.. but hey it's always nice to leave options open..

Show me proof of evolution.

Show me proof of evolution.

Take an Evolutionary Biology class.

It's not the Professors fault you are too stupid to understand what is being taught.

Show me proof of your God?

Show me proof of your God?

Disprove his god... :sifone:

Disprove his god... :sifone:

Disprove that the Easter Bunny is God?

Disprove that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is God?

Disprove that I AM God?

Are you kidding me?

So all I have to do is make something up completely absurd (my phone is God), and tell you to prove me wrong? Great. How easy.

Disprove that my phone is God?

You're not to hip on the whole "burden of proof" thing, are you. Good thing you're not a judge.

Jesus still loves you.

Show me proof of evolution.

Lets just go with a commonsense and easily to grasp concept so you won't have to delve into toughies like junk DNA, mitochondrial independance, and intermediatry species.

Why do you think 99.9% of all biologists believe in evolution? Is it a vast conspiracy? You'd think that if there was no evidence for it'd be pretty widely rejected.

Thats proof, give me a break...

Thats proof, give me a break...

His proof is that 99.9% of scientists believe in Evolution (the fact that the Theory of Evolution is the scientific consensus is not in debate)...

Your proof is that .01% of scientists (Michael Behe) do not believe in Evolution...

You either believe Science is a way for us to deduce truth about our world, or you believe faith in an unprovable myth is a way to deduct truth about our world.

Let's take Medicine: If you believe the latter, then please, please, please do not go to a doctor then next time you get sick, go to a faith healer. (because all of the treatments you would get at a real hospital are recognized by 99.9% of the medical scientific community as being viable treatments.)

That's right, genius. Why don't you apply your logic regarding the science of evolution to all scientific disciplines.

Let's take Astronomy: 99.9% of the scientific community believes the Sun is the center of the Universe,,, the remaining .01% of said community believes the Earth is the center. Which do you believe and why?

Let's take Nutrition: 99.9% of the scientific community believes that if the human body does not get water for 1 week, said human body will die of dehydration. .01% of said community believes if you just pray to God your body will get all the sustanence it needs. Which do you believe and why?

Do you get it yet? Do you even understand what "science" is?

Thats proof, give me a break...

Okay, I'll even relax the standard for you. What are you arguments against the theory of evolution?

While you're at it could you explain to me why so many biologists who study this stuff rigorously and understand the precepts of science seem to accept the idea and you, who clearly do not understand much of either do not? It seems to me there is a rather plausible answer given these facts.

What is your conclusion?

99% of scientists useto think the world was flat.


Still waiting for you to prove lizards evolved into donkeys.

99% of scientists useto think the world was flat.

O RLY?

Lactantius (245–325), after his conversion to Christianity became a trenchant critic of all pagan philosophy. In Book III of The Divine Institutes[18] he ridicules the notion that there could be inhabitants of the antipodes "whose footsteps are higher than their heads". After presenting some arguments which he claims advocates for a spherical heaven and earth had advanced to support their views, he writes:

But if you inquire from those who defend these marvellous fictions, why all things do not fall into that lower part of the heaven, they reply that such is the nature of things, that heavy bodies are borne to the middle, and that they are all joined together towards the middle, as we see spokes in a wheel; but that the bodies which are light, as mist, smoke, and fire, are borne away from the middle, so as to seek the heaven. I am at a loss what to say respecting those who, when they have once erred, consistently persevere in their folly, and defend one vain thing by another;

In his Homilies Concerning the Statutes[19] St.John Chrysostom (344–408) explicitly espoused the idea, based on his reading of Scripture, that the Earth floated on the waters gathered below the firmament, and St. Athanasius (c.293–373) expressed similar views in Against the Heathen[20].

Diodorus of Tarsus (d. 394) also argued for a flat Earth based on scriptures; however, Diodorus' opinion on the matter is known to us only by a criticism of it by Photius.[21]

Severian, Bishop of Gabala (d. 408), wrote: "The earth is flat and the sun does not pass under it in the night, but travels through the northern parts as if hidden by a wall".[22]


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth#The_Early_Church

Seems to me like it was mainly church fathers who espoused this idiotic view.

And to claim that 99% of scientists believed the earth was flat is just retarded. The Greek philosophers who were the intellectual precursors to scientists did not believe in a flat earth:

By classical times an alternative idea, that Earth was spherical, had appeared. This was espoused by Pythagoras, apparently on aesthetic grounds, as he also held all the celestial bodies were spherical. Aristotle provided observational evidence for the spherical Earth,[5] noting that travelers going south see southern constellations rise higher above the horizon. This is only possible if their horizon is at an angle to northerners' horizon. Thus the Earth's surface cannot be flat.[6] Also, the border of the shadow of Earth on the Moon during the partial phase of a lunar eclipse is always circular, no matter how high the Moon is over the horizon. Only a sphere casts a circular shadow in every direction, whereas a circular disk casts an elliptical shadow in most directions.[7]

The Earth's circumference was first determined around 240 BC by Eratosthenes. Eratosthenes knew that in Syene (now Aswan), in Egypt, the Sun was directly overhead at the summer solstice, while he estimated that a shadow cast by the Sun at Alexandria was 1/50th of a circle. He estimated the distance from Syene to Alexandria as 5,000 stades, and estimated the Earth's circumference was 250,000 stades and a degree was 700 stades (implying a circumference of 252,000 stades).[8] Eratosthenes used rough estimates and round numbers, but depending on the length of the stadion, his result is within a margin of between 2% and 20% of the actual circumference, 40,008 kilometres. Note that Eratosthenes could only measure the circumference of the Earth by assuming that the distance to the Sun is so great that the rays of sunlight are essentially parallel. A similar measurement, reported in a Chinese mathematical treatise, the Zhoubi suanjing (1st c. BC), was used to measure the distance to the Sun– albeit by assuming that the Earth was flat.[9]


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth#Antiquity

Maybe you should cut down on your prayer time and use it to get an education.

Still waiting for you to prove lizards evolved into donkeys.

Proof for evolution?

Fine, you won't read this and will just put a smiley jerking off since it doesn't appear that you can form a concrete assessment of an argument, but here goes.

There are unity of mechanisms (metabolism, replication, heritabliliy, etc), a grouping structure predicted by evolution (mammals, reptiles, fish, etc.), transtional fossils falling into the categories, multiple lines of evidence (morphological, biochemical, and genetic) yields the same arrangement of categories, fossils appear in chronological order, showing consistent change over millions of years, organisms have many organs useless to them (wings that cannot be used for flight, eyes that do not see, etc), distribution of species is often limited to geographic location as evolution would predict (For example, marsupials are mostly limited to Australia, and the exceptions are explained by continental drift. Remote islands often have species groups that are highly diverse in habits and general appearance but closely related genetically). Evolution predicts that new structures are adapted from other structures that already exist, and thus similarity in structures should reflect evolutionary history rather than function. We see this frequently. For example, human hands, bat wings, horse legs, whale flippers, and mole forelimbs all have similar bone structure despite their different functions. The same principle applies on a molecular level. Humans share a large percentage of their genes, probably more than 70 percent, with a fruit fly or a nematode worm. The constraints of evolutionary history sometimes lead to suboptimal structures and functions. For example, the human throat and respiratory system make it impossible to breathe and swallow at the same time and make us susceptible to choking (unlike birds for example). This too occurs on the genetic level (most of our DNA is functionless). Microevolution has been observed and tested and occurs at rates expected for macroevolutionary changes.

Not only do all these separate lines point to the same thing, but they are al congruous. They all point to the same thing occuring at the same time.

Care do debate any one of these in particular?

Not really your waisting your time.

Yeah, I thought so. So anyways, you concede that you are an ignorant moron, seeing as I just proved you wrong on every possible front?

By the way--it's you're not your you fucking dunce.

Honestly, you could at least copy and paste some shit from answers in genesis or something.

science is the objective obsevation and critical digestion of that data. This has the greatest chance of unifying the different cultures of earth. the sort of mental rubage (miracles,prophecy, supernatural beings) that is the a basis for most religions, should be taken as quaint cultural remnants. When one needs to make adult desisions; make up your own mind rather than rely on myth.

Seems to me like it was mainly church fathers who espoused this idiotic view of a flat Earth.

And to claim that 99% of scientists believed the earth was flat is just retarded. The Greek philosophers who were the intellectual precursors to scientists did not believe in a flat earth:

.

This is pretty much it. 99.9% of scientists have always understood the Earth to be round. Even Mayan astronomers 2,000 years ago knew this.

It's that the Church simply killed or imprisioned anybody who talked about it during the Dark Ages.

Yeah, I thought so. So anyways, you concede that you are an ignorant moron, seeing as I just proved you wrong on every possible front?

By the way--it's you're not your you fucking dunce.


I didn't even read your post PWNT

I didn't even read your post PWNT

There is nothing more annoying than some "born again" who had never even heard of relgion until they turned 20... and now they think they have the answers to the universe because some "pastor" successfully manipulated them.

SVT: Just because you've never been exposed to christianity or religion before, does not mean the rest of us are so ignorant. It just means you are way, way, way behind the curve.

Just so you know: I was indeed born, baptized, raised and confirmed as a Christian and practiced the bullshit for 21 years. My contempt and distain for all things Religious does not come from Ignorance. I know your religion better than you do...

HAHAHAHA you know nothing about me.

are we honestly debating god vs evolution here, Jesus Christ, pardon my swearing but this is rediculous

ya, God made the earth in 6 days and then took a day of, thats what happened, unreal that people still think that, the cult known as religion has a truely frightening grip on a much of society still doesnt it

I'm not debating anything... I guess I'm a lost cause lol

HAHAHAHA you know nothing about me.

I know you are too incompetent to formulate anything other than single sentence responses.

I know you are too incompetent to formulate anything other than single sentence responses.

I'm surprised he's not resorting to smilies and e-verbage.

I know you are too incompetent to formulate anything other than single sentence responses.

:gojerkit: noobs

:gojerkit: noobs

fag :monkeystyle:

God hates fags

God hates fags

So why do you keep worshiping him?

So why do you keep worshiping him?

Keep looking I'm taken.

Keep looking I'm taken.

So I take it you still a big fan of the "I know you are, but what am I?" retort.

Try harder noob.

I'm rubber and you're glue bitch.

tumbleweed